If Illinois wins a contest and nobody cares about it, does it really happen?

ESPN has caught a lot of crap from me because of its own stupid gimmicks.

Did anyone out there think Who's Now? was a great idea. I still don't know who won it, and even though I have all the technology in the world at my fingertips and some time to burn, I don't care to find out.

So when the World Wide Leader pegged Illinois as the Mount Rushmore of Sports, I had mixed feelings. This Chicago native is pleased to get some Midwest love from the Eastern Seaboard Programming Network. And I guess that whole ESPNchicago.com idea might try to soften the blow of not seeing any Chicago highlights unless it involves Derrick Rose breaking Andre Miller's ankles.

Either way, Illinois ... technically Chicago ... is the winner. I guess this constitutes why southern Illinoisans think Chicago should be its own state.

Michael Jordan: The Greatest Basketball Player Of All Time has only been south of I-80 to take his son to U of I.

Walter Payton: The Greatest Football Player Of All Time starred for the Chicago Bears.

Ernie Banks: The Greatest Shortstop Of All Time now that A-Rod's an admitted PEDphile starred on the North Side of Chicago. Did you know Illinois is split between Cardinals and Cubs fans? Half of the state can't be happy with this.

Mike Ditka: Look at that mug up top. That's the mug of a mountain right there.

So there you have it sports fans, the Mount Rushmore of Chicago ... er ... Illinois ... Sports!