The Weekender: Two Birds, One Stone, One Inbox Edition

This week inside Carrie Muskat's inbox: crap, crap and more crap.  Inside The Weekender: hot chicks.  Your call America.  Here's your Friday funday wrapped in one.

With Ted Lilly having surgery and a question mark on the Cubs' No. 5 starter, is GM Jim Hendry looking at adding starting pitching or are we hoping someone surprises us in the farm system?
-- Matt J., Chicago

Hendry has spent as much time looking at adding starting pitching to a rotation that lost its best arm through April and its best second half starter to the Texas Rangers as he has looking at a diet guide. 

The Cubs have their fingers crossed in hopes that Sean Marshall, Tom Gorzelanny or Jeff Spellcheck can take the bump every fifth day.

On the other hand, so do opposing hitters.

Why didn't the Cubs offer arbitration to Rich Harden? In spite of his injury history, he has pitched well with a great strikeout rate. His Type A status would've netted the Cubs two Draft picks. If they were concerned he would accept arbitration, they should consider that he's fairly young and probably looking to sign a multi-year deal. I just don't see the logic.
-- Sean W., Peoria, Ill.

First of all, Harden was not a Type A free agent.  Second, Kevin Gregg was.  (Seriously.)  Someone will have to explain to me how Kevin Gregg is more valuable than Rich Harden.  Then again, it was Major League Baseball that had Roberto Clemente referred to as Bob Clemente because people weren't completely open to Latinos with dark complexion.

As for the Cubs and logic ... you should know better.  The Cubs defy logic on a yearly basis.  What's the logic behind a middle infield duo that looks like it still plays middle school baseball?  What's the logic to signing a guy who has played for seven different teams in a 10-year career to a three-year deal?

I hate to answer questions with questions, but fuck, if you've been a Cubs fan long enough you know the routine by now.

What do you think the chances are that Kelly Johnson ends up in a Cubs uniform next season? He could be an upgrade at second over Mike Fontenot or Jeff Baker. Johnson had a down year but he has the ability to go 20-20 and would slot nicely in the bottom of the order, and if he finds the swing with the speed, could slot into the No. 2 hole. I know the Cubs aren't focusing on it this year, but he's also a lefty.
-- Nathan P., Omaha, Neb.


Kelly Johnson hit the market a year too late for Hendry's liking.  Good ol' Jimbo is over his lefty phase and has moved on to ... um ... we'll get back to you on that as soon as the Cubs GM wakes up from his turkey-induced coma.

I know the Cubs are looking to the trade market, but they may have a center-field option in the free-agent market. Rick Ankiel is a left-handed-hitting center fielder. Lou Piniella likes left-handers, Ankiel plays center, so Kosuke Fukudome can move to right, and we don't have to trade away the much-discussed prospects. Wouldn't this be a fairly safe option and have the Cubs considered it?
-- Neven C., Fort Dodge, Iowa

Here's why they shouldn't be looking at Ankiel.  He sucks.  His average, power and overall production has gone down each and every year with the Redbirds.  Sure, his defense is above anverage and he is versatile enough to play all three outfield spots, but that doesn't make him a better option.

But apparently, because his name isn't "Milton Bradley" and he's not batshit crazy, there are some goofballs out there that think he's an upgrade.  Maybe if you put him on the McGwire plan, he'll be alright.

The Cubs still have a problem with no leadoff hitter. Why not put Theriot there and leave him there? He sees a lot of pitches and has a decent batting average.
-- Steve B., Phoenix

Steve, you're lucky I'm running through these quickly so I can get to the awesome links.  So, rather than post a long-winded respond, read one here as presented by Stat Boy in October.


From the information we know, do you think moving Spring Training to Florida would be good? There is a lot established in Arizona with close facilities, three current teams from the Central, the Arizona Fall League and a fan base.
-- Steve P., Tempe, Ariz.

Steve P:  If moving to Florida means the Cubs will win, then the answer to your question is fuck and yes.


I remember watching Thomas Diamond a few years back when he was in the Rangers' system, and he had some incredible stuff. I was happy to find out he's with the Cubs and noticed he's putting up pretty great numbers. Is there any chance he'll be invited to Spring Training? Or could he make the team, even out of the pen? He's 2-0 in three starts with a 0.64 ERA in 14 innings and only gave up one earned run on eight hits with three walks and 15 strikeouts. If he's healthy, he could be amazing.
-- Tom F., Anacortes, Wash.

"If he's healthy he could be amazing" sums up the following Cubs pitchers:

• Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, Rich Harden, Angel Guzman, Mike Harkey
  

Why was Chris Robinson overlooked as a catcher to be added to the 40-man roster? He was a Triple-A All-Star, named the Iowa Cubs' MVP and batted .326. He deserves a shot.
-- Tim G., Bolingbrook, Ill.

Why was Chris Robinson overlooked?  Because he wasn't that good.

Now for the chicks.  Actually, it's just one chick.

Now for the links:

• Rihanna leaves you wanting more of something and less of something else. You be the judge.
• Fire Del Negro? Fans of the Rooney Rule won't like this new site.
• If Jim Hendry makes an "emergency trip" to Ohio, it will be because of this ... not because he's trying to trade Crazy Uncle Milton to Cincy or Cleveland. 
  
• Worried about what that cute girl in class is posting on her Facebook status?  Be more concerned about Facebook's privacy settings.
• Quote of the Year candidate: "All I’m saying is that Elin better be glad she’s married to Tiger Woods instead of Chris Brown or this whole story could’ve been reported differently!"
• NSFW! Remember when topless photos of Lindsay Lohan would have been worth something?  (For the record: I'd still be interested.)
• Lil' Wayne's "Rebirth" album gets new life (pun intended) with recently leaked track with Eminem.

School's out for winter and the kids are leaving southern Illinois to rejoin their families.  In a week, their families will be sick of them because they stay out late, their friends eat all their food and they're not cleaning shit up.

But they'll be back.

They always come back.

Unless, of course, they drop out.