Fraudtober: Where Amazingly Bad Happens (With Poll Question)

[Ed. Note: If the NBA is where amazing happens, then Fraudtober is where amazingly bad baseball happens.  It seems that every October brings a goat -- and being a Cubs fan -- I know October failure when I see it.  So after every round of playoffs, there will be a poll after the jump to see who will be named each round's OctoberFraud.  In the end, we'll take all the winners and pit them against one another.]

Matt Holliday was not the only star to fall in October.  Check out the rest of the OctoberFrauds after the jump.

Holliday's struggles are well documented.  He hit only .167 (2-for-12) in the NLDS after posting a .353/.419/.604/1.023 line in 270 plate appearances for the St. Louis Cardinals after posting  who were expected to be the National League's representative in the World Series.  His homer, one of only two dingers hit by the Cards, gave his team a 1-0 lead in Game 2.  But it was his error that opened the flood gates to a Dodgers come-from-behind win, and eventually, a sweep at the hands of the Dodgers.

But he's not the only Cardinal up for the LDS OctoberFraud award.  Teammate Joel Pineiro took to the bump for Game 3 and struggled.  After going 15-12 with a 3.49 earned run average and 1.145 WHIP, one of Dave Duncan's pet projects allowed four runs on seven hits in four innings in the Redbirds' Game 3 loss.

After winning Game 163, the Minnesota Twins were swept out of the playoffs as All-Star closer Joe Nathan was amazingly bad in his two outings.  In Game 2, Nathan allowed a game-tying two-run home run to Alex Rodriguez in what turned out to be an extra-inning loss.  He would go on to allow two more runs in the team's Game 3 loss, as well.

Nathan's numbers: 9.00 ERA, 3.00 WHIP, 1 blown save, 5 hits, 2 IP

Boston Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon was more like Papelboned... am I right?  In two innings of work, Papelbon posted an 0-1 record, 13.50 ERA, 3.00 WHIP and allowed three earned runs and four hits.  His blown save ended the Red Sox's season while sending the Angels to an ALCS showdown with the Yankees.

Let the trade rumors begin!

The only hugs Colorado Rockies closer Huston Street received might have been from Phillies fans, because for the second straight game, Street picked up the "L" as Philadelphia escaped the NLDS to set up another showdown with the Dodgers.

Street's numbers are astonishingly bad, especially for someone who converted 35 saves and notched a 3.06 ERA.  In 2.2 IP, Street allowed six hits, four earned runs and posted a 3.38 WHIP en route to failing his October test.

So, who wears the goat horns after the LDS round?

Biggest LDS OctoberFraud?

• Matt Holliday (2-for-12, 1 HR, 1 costly error)
• Joe Nathan (9.00 ERA, 3.00 WHIP, 1 blown save, 5 hits, 2 IP)
• Jonathan Papelbon (0-1, 13.50 ERA, 3.00 WHIP, 4 H, 3 ER, 1 blown save, 2 IP)
• Huston Street (0-2, 13.50 ERA, 6 H, 4 ER, 3.38 WHIP, 1 blown save, 2.2 IP)
• Joel Pineiro (0-1, 9.00 ERA, 4 IP, 4 ER, 7 H)

Created on Oct 13, 2009

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poll by twiigs.com

Why I Hate Your Playoff Baseball Team

Confession: I am a baseball nerd.  Really.  When I was younger, I found myself watching playoff baseball despite the fact that my favorite team had been eliminated from playoff contention for a good chunk of those years.

But now, after back-to-back soul crushing playoff sweeps, my favorite team failed to make the postseason altogether.  I thought about latching myself to the bandwagon of one of the remaining teams.  Upon further review, I couldn't find it within me to do it.

And this is how "Why I Hate Your Playoff Baseball Team" got started.

The longest (and arguably most offensive to those of you who take your favorite team way too seriously) post in TBDS history after the jump.


YANKEES

Everyone hates the Yankees because they are what their favorite team is not.  Honestly, if your favorite team's owner/management group went balls out to put a winner on the field, how would you feel?  Whether it be through the minor league system or buying the open market's best player, if the Cubs did that, I would be happier than Derek Jeter on ladies night.

Speaking of which, screw you Jeter.  My one hope in life is to date one girl that is out of my league.  However, I can't because they're all swooning over you. His dating resume includes Jessica Biel, Minka Kelly, Mariah Carey and others.  Then there was this experiment with a college girl.  I have enough trouble dating girls my own age, Jeets, there's no reason to be dipping into my pool.

The One Thing I Like:  With all that said, I'd kill to be Jeter's wing man.  His sloppy seconds and rejects are 10s.  I'm down with OPP.

RED SOX

When I was younger, I used to like the Red Sox.  They were my "other" team.  My godfather played for the BoSox from 1989 'til 1993.  He always hooked me up with tickets and it was flippin' sweet.  I got autographed balls from Mike Greenwell, Mo Vaughn, Roger Clemens, Eric Wedge -- all those guys.  Heck, I got to meet Wedge and others one time when he was Cleveland's first base coach.

Those memories are gone, replaced with this story.

I went to a Cubs-Red Sox game in 2005 at Wrigley Field and hit it off with an attractive young lady.  A baseball fan with a passion for the game and the willingness to buy a then underaged Cubs fan a beer or two.  Then I told a funny joke.  A rarity still in this day and age ... she laughed ... and sounded like Peter Griffin.

Un.  Attractive.

We went our separate ways.  I wanted no part of that.  She's ruined Boston fans until I go to Boston and need a place to shack up.  I guess I could always hang out with Tom Brady.

The One Thing I Like: See first graph.

ANGELS

I'd be a terrible person if I wrote bad things about the Angels after the tragedy that struck them this year.  So I'll be kind.  Sorta.

I hate that you have baseball's best manager, Mike Scioscia.  He's awesome.  I hate that you reload, rather than rebuild.  I hate that you beat Dusty Baker in the World Series in 2002.  The loss cemented the end of Dusty's stay in San Francisco and began his run in Chicago, where he would go on to ruin the perfectly good arms of Mark Prior and Kerry Wood.  His effect has also touched the careers of Matt Clement and has started to do so for Carlos Zambrano as well.

The One Thing I Like: Vlad.  VladGuerrero's style at the plate encapsulates my collegiate dating career.  Swing hard and hope you make contact.  However, Vlad's been a little more successful with his style.

Then there was this...

TWINS

I was ready to write this about the Tigers, but I've got my fair share of beef with the Twinkies.

First of all, thanks for Andy MacPhail you asshole pricks.  Thanks a f****** lot.  Never have I met such an egomaniacal baseball jerkwad.  Never.  That includes every Philly, Yankee, Red Sox, Cardinal, Bradley Braves fan I've ever met and despised.  A member of the lucky sperm club, MacFail was the sonofabitch whose 5 year plan didn't hatch a playoff team until 1998, and a division champion until 2003.

Then there's that whole cheaping out for Joe Mauer thing.  Mauer would look mighty fine in a Cubs uniform right now.  You know, that left-handed run producer Jim Hendry craves more than three dozen freshly baked jelly donuts.

The One Thing I Like: Oh yeah, and Favre can go to hell too.  Oh, this is where I say something nice.  Joe Mauer is a bad ass.  So is Joe Nathan.  If Mauer doesn't win AL MVP, someone should piss in the cereal of the baseball writers who voted for someone else.

PHILLIES

Philadelphia is looking to win its second straight World Series.  It won't.  Brad Lidge sucks and if he gets into the game, every other pitch he throws is going to end up putting another crater on the moon.  If the Phils somehow meet the Cardinals in the NLCS, they might have to put Lidge in the witness protection program.

Overall Philly isn't that terrible.  It's the place that helped raise The Fresh Prince, DJ Jazzy Jeff and Kobe Bryant.  On the other hand, it's the same town that throws batteries at Santa Claus when they don't get what they want for Christmas.

And you thought Jay Cutler was a whiny bitch.

The One Thing I Like:  Ryan Howard.  I drafted Howard in my fantasy league and traded him at the All-Star break for Alex Rodriguez.  In the second half, A-Rod hit .310/.394/.518/.912 with 13 homers, 50 RBIs and 11 steals en route to a fantasy title.  Howard performed well, but my third baseman prior to that trade was Mark Teahen.

ROCKIES

As a Cubs fan, I'd like to thank the Rockies for Don Baylor.  Not.  Don Baylor sucked.  He was a terrible manager who promised free agent hitters would come in droves to Chicago.  And the best we got was Moises Alou, who absolutely tanked in his only year under Baylor.

Then there's the Jason Marquis factor.  Did you know every team Marquis has pitched for has made the playoffs.  He's Dave Kaplan and Steve Stone's golden boy, despite the fact that neither of them were crying a river of Cubbie blue tears when he was shipped out west.

In total, Colorado sucks for many other reasons.  It's cold.  Who wants to play baseball in the snow?  No one with a brain.  Your big tourist attraction is skiing in mountains.  The only thing that would be as dangerous would be if Florida tried to sell vacation plans in which tourists would hang out in the swamps with gators not named Tim Tebow.

The One Thing I Like:  Thanks for Jeff Baker, pricks.

DODGERS

The Dodgers are lucky to even have a baseball team.  Their fans are a joke.  They come early and leave early.  They have a rich history, most of which revolves around the team's Brooklyn roots.  Oh, and the entire NL West can screw itself.  Two transplanted New York teams, two expansion teams and a team that had to build its ballpark so it wouldn't get crushed by one player that retired three years after the damn thing opened.

Back to the Dodgers.  They're blessed with one of baseball's best minor league systems, hence the team's young and talented roster.  They also have Alyssa Milano who is absolutely smoking hot.  And she's only a fan because her daddy was a Brooklyn Dodgers fan.  I would give up five Wrigley Field bleacher babes for one night with Alyssa Milano.  And that is after taking into consideration she's been in more major league clubhouses than Milton Bradley.

Also, it was the Dodgers' sweep of the Cubs that sent me into a heavy drinking binge last October.  Like, heavy.  I mean, cashing a bottle of Jack Daniels and a case of Miller Lite and waking up wishing I hadn't, kind of binge.

One Thing I LIke:  Vin Scully.  He's the sh*t.  The best announcer in any sport, ever.  Better than Marv Albert.  Better than Joe Buck.  Better than Jack Buck.  Better than Harry Caray.  Vin Scully is the Jay-Z of broadcasters.  I'd go out of my way to listen to Scully.  It's too bad Dodgers fans or too much of uberdouches to realize they are blessed with greatness.

CARDINALS

What can I say about the Cardinals that hasn't already been said about herpes, chlamydia or genital warts?  I would rather see eight more years of George W. Bush running this country than see one more St. Louis championship.

Mark DeRosa will make his third straight playoff appearance and is bound to break the hearts of Cardinals fans just as he did Cub fans, right?  He was the man who turned a 3-1 count with the bases loaded against Livan Hernandez into an inning-ending, rally-ending double play.  He was the man who couldn't handle what should have been an inning ending double play ball against the Dodgers last year as L.A. completed the sweep.

Yet, women love him ... why?  Because of his stubble.  F*** his stubble.  If that's all they loved, I would have been knee deep in 20something college co-eds since I was 12.  Go choke, DeRosa.  History tells me you will.

One Thing I Like: I know a pretty girl that happens to be a Cardinals fan.  A.  Pretty.  Girl.

At least I'll always have this to keep me warm at night.

Cubs Interested In Shipping Zambrano? Here's Your Irresponsible Blogger-Turned-GM Post Of The Day!

The story of the day in Chicago baseball was the Cubs' 2-0 win against the Milwaukee Brewers.  The win would have meant something a year ago at this time as the Cubs and Brew Crew were duking it out for NL Central supremacy.  Right now, the Cubs' biggest battles are against themselves and mediocrity.

And now we bring you to the buried lead in the story brought to you by Chicago Tribune Cubs beat writer Paul Sullivan:

Now that Hendry is assured of returning in 2010, he'll have to decide which players to bring back. Dempster, who signed a four-year, $52 million deal last winter, is assured of returning. [Carlos] Zambrano, who signed a five-year, $91.5 million deal in August 2007, is not.

Despite the fact that Zambrano has a full no-trade clause, the Cubs plan on shopping him this off-season, sources said, believing he'll waive the clause to go to the right team, as Jake Peavy eventually did when the Padres consummated a deal this summer with the White Sox.

According to Cot's Baseball Contracts, Carlos Zambrano has $53.75 million coming his way from 2010-12, with a vesting option worth $19.25 million in 2014.

Let the record show that despite a mediocre season by Zambrano (8-6, 3.77 ERA), pitching has not been the Cubs' downfall.  The North Side staff ranks in the top-5 in strikeouts, ERA+, WHIP, H/9 and K/9.  But with a weak free agent market awaiting, now might be the best time to move Big Z.

But where?


NEW YORK METS

The Metropolitans might be the ideal landing spot for the beleaguered Cubs ace.  Big city, bright lights and the opportunity to be a hitter are probably things Zambrano would look for in a new team.  New York's "other" team provides all that.  Adding Zambrano would also fall in line with Omar Minaya's blueprint of creating a Latino baseball All-Star team in the NYC.

The Cubs could go one of two routes here.  They could opt to go for the home run and try to acquire the equally beleaguered Jose Reyes.  The shortstop has been bothered by injuries this year and rumors have already been floated that he could be moved.  Adding Reyes would improve the Cubs in a variety of ways.  It would move him immediately into the lead-off role, while pushing Ryan Theriot to second base.  For this to happen, the Cubs would likely have to eat a huge chunk of his salary.

Another option would be swapping bad contracts with the Metros, which would ideally send center fielder Carlos Beltran to Chicago.  As it stands now, the Cubs have a right fielder playing center, and adding Beltran (who makes $37 million over the next two years) makes a lot of sense as well.  Beltran is a career .392 hitter at Wrigley Field with 9 homers, 22 ribbies and a 1.292 OPS.  Bringing in the switch-hitting center fielder would leave Kosuke Fukudome in right field, especially if Peter Gammons' recent nugget of sending Milton Bradley back to Texas comes to fruition.

New York Yankees

If one New York team is involved, the other can't be too far behind, right?  The Yankees are a team that is usually more than willing to take on other teams' misfits and salary problems.  I wonder had Alex Rodriguez struggled mightily after the whole roid-gate thing if he would have been on the trading block because at times, I have wet pipe dreams of A-Rod suiting up at shortstop and reuniting with Lou Piniella.

Pure speculation here, but if the Cubs also threw in Ryan Theriot, could they land lefty-swinging second baseman Robinson Cano and his career OPS of .816?  He's owed $48 million through 2013 if all the options are picked up.

Boston Red Sox

If the Yankees are interested, so are the Red Sox.  Sports Illustrated's Jon Heyman reported Toronto declined to accept Boston's 5-for-1 deal for Roy Halladay.  Could the BoSox be interested in Big Z?  If I were Jim Hendry, I'd be intrigued by a number of their prospects.

Texas Rangers

Remember when you were a kid and you had problems finding Waldo?  That's how the Rangers feel about finding pitching.  Former top prospects Edinson Volquez and John Danks have flourished since leaving the organization, so adding a pitcher of Zambrano's caliber might be the best avenue for Texas' team.

Infielder Michael Young just signed a five-year deal worth $80 million in 2009, and when he played shortstop he posted a .310/.358/.453/.811 line before moving to be the Rangers' full-time third sacker.

Colorado Rockies

If the Cubs want to go into complete blow-up mode, the Rockies might make an ideal fit.  The Rox usually have a good amount of young talent going through the system and actually making a difference at the big league level.  Chicago could land some valuable pieces in exchange for its troubled right hander.

THE ULTIMATE WILD CARD: Florida Marlins

Hear me out.

The Cubs have a problem child in Carlos Zambrano.  The Marlins supposedly have a problem child in Hanley Ramirez.  Since the 2002 season, the Cubs have made seven trades with the Marlins, six of them have spawned under The Hendry Regime.  So, the question is: does Trader Jim have another one left in him.

Bringing HanRam to the Cubs would be the blockbuster of all blockbusters.  He's owed 64.5 million over the next five years, so swapping salaries wouldn't be that big of an issue.  The Cubs would likely need to throw in prospects such as Jeff Samardzija, Andrew Cashner, Jay Jackson and (*screech*) Josh Vitters ... among others.

It'd be a deal worth making for both ends, seeing that the Fighting Fish build their teams around pitching, and always have a prospect nipping at the heels of their current players.  For the Cubs, slotting Ramirez in the No. 3 hole in front of Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez and Alfonso Soriano would give the Cubs the best heart of the order (on paper) in the National League.

As the title suggests, this post is highly irresponsible on several fronts.  But hey, one of the top signs that your team is out of contention is when trade rumors start popping up in September.  Besides, what else am I gonna do.  I've got to wait 'til Sunday to see a meaningful Chicago sporting event.

Holliday on the Rocks: Hold the Holliday

Looking at the Colorado Rockies it's hard to fathom that this very team made the World Series in 2007.

It just goes to show you what a couple hot months down the stretch can do for a baseball team.

Obviously, 2008 was a step in the wrong direction for a variety of reasons. The Rockies went from 90 wins in 2007 to 74 in 2008 with roughly the same team returning but injuries ruined their chances early.

Troy Tulowitzki had the epitome of a sophomore slump: a batting average around the Mendoza line and a load of unlucky injuries. Tulowitzki rebounded toward the end of the season to post a respectable .263 average thanks to a .330 average in the final month of the season. His power numbers were in the single digits, however.

The face of the franchise didn't escape the injury bug either. Todd Helton, a 35-year-old first baseman, posted the worst numbers of his career and played in the lowest amount of games (83) since his rookie season in 1997. Helton has a chance to rebound because his trade isn't solely relient on power numbers. Despite a .264 average in 2008, Helton has put up a .300-plus average in every full season he has participated in at the major league level.

Third baseman Garrett Atkins also took a step backward after posting career highs of 29 home runs and 116 RBIs in 2007. Atkins numbers weren't far off in 2008 with 25 home runs and 85 RBIs but the majority of it came during a three-month stretch from June to August when he clubbed 19 home runs and 57 RBIs. In April, May and September he posted poor power numbers coupled with a dreadful batting average.

The lineup, however, wasn't the only culprit for Colorado.

After a phenomal stretch of late season pitching by the Rockies in 2007, the bottom fell out early in 2008 much to the dismay of many baseball experts that expected the young guns (Ubaldo Jimenez and Franklin Morales) to build on their late season progress that led the team to a National League title.

Jimenez bounced back after a rough early going to finish 12-12 with an ERA of 3.99 but Morales was banished to the minors after posting a ERA of 6.39 that featured a loss of control with his pitches.

World Series starter Jeff Francis struggled as well with a 4-10 record along with a 5.01 ERA.

Aaron Cook was a breath of fresh air for the rotation. Cook posted a 3.96 ERA coupled with 16 wins for a troubled rotation.

To make matters worse for the immediate future, the Rockies had to trade left fielder Matt Holliday to avoid the risk of losing him after the 2008 season without any immediate compensation.

The haul brought back in exchange for the all-star was solid. Huston Street struggled in the closer role in Oakland during the 2008 season and dealt with injuries but a permanent move to the set up role should be helpful as Manny Corpas takes over for departed free agent Brian Fuentes. Greg Smith also came over in the deal and should help fortify the back end of the rotation while the gem of the trade should be an opening day starter as well.

Outfielder Carlos Gonzalez didn't do anything earth shattering in his first half-season in the MLB but he's had a five-tool stud label attached to him since he was in the Arizona Diamondbacks system. Gonzalez should give the Rockies more speed at the left field position.

All in all it's not unreasonable to see Colorado compete for a division title in the wide open NL West but it requires a lot of things to its way. The team will have to be healthy while hoping that their younger players across the board take the next step. I would guess they fall in between their 2007 and 2008 win totals and will be somewhere in the 80s.

Look for a Los Angeles Dodgers preview to come in the next day or two.