100 Sports Related Things I'd Rather Do Than Study

One of the very talented photographers on the DE staff, Edyta Blaszczyk, came up with the grand idea of 100 things she would rather do than study.

Well, that inspired this post of 100 sports related things I'd rather do than go through finals week. In no particular order. Void without sarcasm.

1. Listen to the Duke student writer complain about the television monitor in front of his seat.
2. Interview Rick Majerus after a loss.
3. Watch Javier Vazquez pitch in a pressure situation.
4. Stand in against a Randy Johnson fastball, circa 1993.
5. Write a column denouncing my ties to the Cubs.
6. Drink "Dirty 30" Juice.
7. Dot the I in the Ohio State band.
8. Watch SIU play a zone defense.
9. Operate on Mark Prior's shoulder.
10. Wear the oppositions colors when covering an SIU sporting event.
11. Watch Alfonso Soriano swing at a pitch in the left-handed batters box.
12. Listen to Hawk Harrelson tell me a story about the 1977 Red Sox.
13. Listen to Joe Buck do ANY play-by-play.
14. Read a sports blog that doesn't have pictures of pretty girls.
15. Take medical advice from Dusty Baker.
16. Take medicine from the cabinet of Barry Bonds.
17. Talk to a Northwestern University police officer.
18. Anger Lou Piniella.
19. Anger Ozzie Guillen.
20. Watch Ben Wallace shoot free-throws.
21. Watch J.J. Redick shoot free-throws.
22. Go on road trips without a TomTom.
23. Sit behind home plate at U.S. Cellular Field with Ronnie Woo Woo.
24. Be anywhere close to Ronnie Woo Woo.
25. Watch Stephen A. Smith on ESPN.
26. Listen to Stephen A. Smith yell at me.
27. Look at naked pictures of Will Leitch.
28. Watch Duke play wearing UNC colors in Cameron Indoor.
29. Listen to Coach K give me compliments in a post game press conference.
30. Get a 'Happy Thanksgiving' text message from Chris Lowery.
31. Watch my sports editor get spanked
32. Listen to basketball games not broadcasted by Marv Albert. Yes!
33. Argue with Stile Smith ... about anything!
34. Piss in a trough at Wrigley Field.
35. Look at a landfill over the left-center field wall at new Busch Stadium.
36. Comment on James Durbin's banana suit at SIU basketball games.
37. Plot my meteoric rise in the world of sports journalism.
38. Put together those Saluki sports minute video blogs.
39. "Do the Heisman on that ---"
40. Get posted up and posterized by Sean McGahan.
41. Ridicule the New York Knicks at Madison Square Garden.
42. Listen to abnoxious Duke fans.
43. Listen to the old guy at the 2K Sports Classic who thought every player on Michigan was Manny Harris even though Harris was on the bench.
44. Think of pick up lines that would get me in bed with one of those super-beautiful UCLA cheer girls.
45. Think of ways to meet USC Song Girls.
46. Write headlines that involve "Wang"
47. Say inappropriate things at the sports desk.
48. Listen to Notre Dame fans wax nostalgic about the good old days.
49. Drive in New York City traffic and pay a billion dollars for parking.
50. Make it rain with Pacman Jones.
51. Go to a club with Plaxico Burress.
52. Pick up chicks with Derek Jeter.
53. Pick up chicks with Nick Swisher at McGee's.
    
54. Do Marv Albert impersonations...YES!
55. Read pointless threads on Saluki Talk.
56. Answer questions from random guys in Chicago who want to meet Megan Kramper.
57. Read Jake Peavy trade rumors.
58. Write sidebars that turn into gamers.
59. Write gamers that turn into sidebars.
60. Write previews that turn into features.
61. Listen to Brian Feldt say "You wrote another gamer" when I was trying to write a sidebar.
62. Watch Adam Dunn swing and miss.
63. Watch Adam Dunn swing and hit the ball 5,000 feet.
64. Listen to "Heart of a Champion" by Nelly and think about Saluki volleyball.
65. Listen to a Mike Reis broadcast.
66. Take pictures with Erin Andrews.
67. Watch Chris Berman on SportsCenter give players bad nicknames.
68. Read Bill Plaschke columns.
69. Watch Jay Mariotti on Around the Horn.
70. Write blogs.
71. Tweet from Saluki athletics.
72. Participate in a dance-off against Warren Sapp.
73. Get hit with a frisbee toss.
74. Watch P'Allen Stinnett get fired up by a crowd.
75. Read Ron Turner's playbook.
76. Pick up chicks with Kyle Orton after doing shots of Jack Daniels.
77. Hang out with Cedric Benson with a bunch of pretty white girls on a party boat.
78. Go on a date with Sean Avery's sloppy seconds, Elisha Cuthbert.
79. Read the Girls and Sports comic in the DE.
80. Write corrections.
81. Argue against anti-stat heads.
82. Firing Stile Smith.
83. Rehiring Stile Smith.
    
84. Going on road trips with Edyta, Anthony, Brian, Sean, Jeff, Stephen...
85. Having dinner with southern Illinois' best sportswriters in Youngstown, Ohio and New York.
    
86. Play with Brian Feldt's whiffle ball bat (no homo)
87. Watch Greg Paulus get dunked on over and over and over again!
88. Yell at my TV during a sporting event.
89. Hating Creighton.
90. Write love letters to Jill Arrington, Erin Andrews, Stacy Dales.
91. Watch games broadcasted by ESPN's Pam Ward.
92. Shoot around with Justin Bocot in dress casual attire after an SIU women's basketball game.
93. Try to sponsor a fight between Rick Telander and Jay Mariotti.
94. Read columns about how every school wants Chris Lowery as its coach.
95. Look at pictures of Layla Kiffin.
96. Watch a "recruitment video" sent by Layla Kiffin.
97. Search Chickipedia for pictures of girls for the Daily Dosage.
98. Watch "classic" Bulls games starring Ron Mercer, Eddie Robinson.
99. Share a dinner table with Eddy Curry, Mark Mangino, Jim Hendry, Rick Majerus.
100. Write a list of 100 sports-related things I would rather do than study.