The Good, Bad & Ugly: Bears Hire Mike Martz

Under the dome in St. Louis, it was called The Greatest Show On Turf.  So, what will they call it once it hits Soldier Field? 

The Greatest Show On Sod?

In the end, the Chicago Bears finally hired Mike Martz as offensive coordinator, putting an end to a four-week circus that saw the Bears get turned down more times than the pimply faced nerd searching for a prom date. 

Eventually, the acne-challenged child (Lovie Smith) found the chick  who was really hot before she got coked out (Martz) in what will likely spawn the beginning of a new era or the beginning of the end of this era.

Let's break it down, shall we?

THE GOOD
Kurt Warner went from bagging groceries to bagging touchdowns, and fantasy football players went on to bag bragging rights and championship games.  He got the most out of Marshall Faulk and a lot out of Steven Jackson.  Everyone knows what Martz did in St. Louis, so let's focus on some recent history.

The biggest positive in hiring Martz is that unlike Ron Turner, the man who will be at the controls in 2010 has coordinated an offense that has been productive in this century.  Turner's archaic playbook was a drag on offense, and to be honest, it would be nice to see Jay Cutler's receivers run routes at the first down chains on third down rather than seeing bubble screens get blown up for a four-yard loss on 3rd-and-15.

Martz has also been known for quick turnarounds, which is something Bears fans are kind of used to.  At least I got used to seeing Bears running backs get turned around for losses.  But I guess that's what happens when a draw play is called on 3rd-and-11. 

In 2006, Martz turned Jon Kitna's age 34 season into a 4,000-yard campaign in his first year in Detroit.  One year later, Martz's offense really clicked through eight weeks as the Lions posted a 6-2 record in the season's first half.  Eventually, the wheels fell off, but it all can't be put on Detroit's offense as the defense was lit up down the stretch.

But it's hard to play defense when Matt Millen continues to draft wide receiver after wide receiver in the NFL draft.

If Martz can make the Lions offense look like a legitimate professional offense, I imagine he could work wonders with the jokers Jerry Angelo has drafted.

THE BAD
Mike Martz offenses have oftentimes forgotten about the use of tight ends, which of course was the Bears' offense's msot prolific weapon.

Which means if you were given a Greg Olsen jersey for Christmas, cherish it, for it might be the last time you see it for a while because it might not be seeing much time on the field.

Granted, without looking it up on Google, do you even know who the Rams' tight ends were during the glory years?  Probably not.  I'll admit that I can't.  I can tell you St. Louis had Isaac Bruce as a legit No. 1 threat.  Then they had Torry Holt, who would have been a No. 1 option on almost any other team, as a No. 2 option.  Az Hakim was an excellent kick/punt returner Martz was able to get the ball to in the open field.

The Bears have that guy in Devin Hester.  The catch?  Chicago expects him to be Bruce or Holt, when he's really just another Az Hakim.

THE UGLY
With the addition of Martz as offensive coordinator and Mike Tice as offensive line coach, the Bears have three former NFL head coaches working under Lovie Smith.  In most cases, I would consider that to be a good thing.

However, the three combined to go 95-103 in 14 total seasons as NFL head coaches.  Martz (53-32) was clearly the most successful while Tice was a mediocre 32-33 with the Minnesota Vikings and Marinelli was downright awful with a 10-38 record with the Detroit Lions.

In other words, the Bears have spent the last two offseasons hiring the outcasts of division rivals whose coaching success ranges from "Meh" to "Cutlerfucked" on the Luda scale of coaching success.

I guess they'll fit in just fine.