Making Sense Of Nonsense: White Sox To Turn Back Clock?

If White Sox GM Kenny Williams has a time machine, I want 15 minutes of alone time with it.  Having a time travel device is the only way one could justify signing Omar Vizquel and Andruw Jones.  Right?
Or is my calendar 10 years ahead of its time?

Don't get me wrong.  I completely understand why Williams would want to make this move.  Kind of.  Vizquel is a nice middle infield insurance policy.  And I'm under the assumption that Vizquel has been brought in to mentor young Alexei Ramirez on the finer points of defense.

Vizquel will be 43 in 2010 ... 11 years removed from his best offensive season ever.  As a member of the 1999 Cleveland Indians, Vizquel posted a .333/.397/.436/.833 line, made the American League all-star team, won one of his 11 Gold Gloves and garnered enough votes (from Keith Law?) to get 16th in the AL MVP.


In 2010, Vizquel will be asked to be the Latino version of what Lindsey Hunter is to Bulls point guard Derrick Rose.

Then there's Andruw Jones, whose star has fallen faster than a fat chick that sat down to fast (HT: Eminem).  Jones was an elite center fielder from 1997 through 2007 and has 10 Gold Gloves and countless highlight-reel catches to prove it.

But like Vizquel, his best days seem to be behind him.  It is conceivable that Jones, who turns 33 in April, could find his swing and become a valuable role player for the White Sox.  But the days of him slugging dingers and snatching them away from the opposition will be few and far between.  Jones' addition further muddies an already messy outfield situation, and all but puts an end to Scott Podsednik's time on the South Side.

But for a team that has gone on the record saying that it always wants to get younger and faster, signing Vizquel and Jones makes no sense.


Unless Kenny knows something about the fountain of youth that we don't.  And if he does, it means Barack Obama is probably behind all of this.