We'll take a look at two as we open the Mount Hushmore challenge as Crazy Uncle Milton faces of against
Milton Bradley (No. 1 seed)
Crazy Uncle Milton was doomed from the day he conned his way into a three-year $30 million contract from Jim Hendry. But, hey, it's not like he put a gun to Hendry's box of glazed donuts and said, "Three years, thirty million ... or the donuts get pumped full of lead."
So, since that didn't happen, what did Milton do to get on this list?
Bradley hit .257 and posted an OPS of .775 while hitting 12 home runs and 40 runs batted in. His shitty year made Micah Hoffpauir look like Adam Dunn to some Cubs fans. He walked a bunch and earned a nice .378 OBP out of it. That was met with a collective "meh" from Cubdom, who have seen their grandmothers walk as much as Bradley did in 2009 and bitch less about it.
In the end, it was Bradley's bitching that made him a lock as a No. 1 seed in this tournament of embarassing Chicago athletes.
Claiming to be a new man when signed in the winter, Crazy Uncle Milton quickly changed his tune when he was ejected for arguing a called third strike in his first at-bat at Wrigley Field. He took himself out of games, wined like a pouting teenage bitch and alienated himself from his teammates, fans and coaches.
He threw a live-ball into the stands and posed before realizing you needed three outs to end an inning. The master of all bitch-fits (Lou Piniella) had to send him home from a Cubs-White Sox game for throwing a fit after saying to his clubhouse that he wanted no more fits thrown. He complained about not being comfortable, and basically re-ignited Piniella's bat-shit crazy side on top of it.
The straw that broke
So, not only did Bradley not help the Cubs win a title in 2009, his contract will help prevent the team from spending money toward winning a title in 2010 and 2011.
If that's not a total dick, I don't know what is.
Note: Not actually Todd Hundley. Might as well be, though.
Todd Hundley (No. 4 seed)
In the early 2000s, the Cubs had more drunk, but just as controversial of a player. His name was Todd Hundley.
The son of beloved ex-Cub Randy Hundley, Todd signed a four-year deal worth $23.5 million in the off-season after the team finished with a 65-97 record. Hundley was only a few years removed from reconstructive elbow surgery, so I guess you can consider him a pioneer of bad Cub signings that featured oft-injured arms.
Hundley sucked the life out of the Cubs in his brief two-year stint where he hit .199/.285/.398/.684. He was terrible at the plate, in the field and in the clubhouse. Hundley was met with plenty boos because of his play on the field, and coupled that with some "booze" off the field ... which really didn't help his cause whatsoever despite being one of Chicagos own.
The Cubs eventually placed the return to sender tag on Hundley, returning him to Los Angeles in exchange for Eric Karros and Mark Grudzielanek.
Hundley was also mentioned in the Mitchell Report. Apparently, the performance-enhancing drugs never kicked-in while he played for the Cubs. Go figure.
Now, it's time for your vote.
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