Showing posts with label Dave Kaplan sucks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dave Kaplan sucks. Show all posts

Friday, November 27, 2009

Coming Soon: Mount Hushmore


Kudos to Chicago sports personality Dave Kaplan for recycling ESPN's trash and biting its Mount Rushmore of sports bit.

But it got us to thinking, what would Chicago's anti-Mount Rushmore look like?  Who were Chicago's most embarrassing athletes?  The guys you hated so much, you considered booing them even though they were on your team.

We've got an idea of who we want and we'll write profiles on them.  But we also want your suggestions, too.  Send 'em over to bigdeadsidebar@gmail.com as soon as possible with reasoning and we'll get 'em up online.

Alright, so this is the early plan.  We'll post our early nominees as they come in and at the end of each blog, you will have a choice to nominate them onto Mount Hushmore via polling.  We have established 70 percent to be the induction cut-off point.

Your early nominees are as follows: Milton Bradley, Todd Hundley, Cedric Benson, Cade McNown, Theo Fleury, Bill Wirtz, Jay Mariotti, Rick Morrissey, Jamie Navarro, Kevin Gregg, LaTroy Hawkins, The Early 2000s Bulls, Rex Grossman, Kordell Stewart and Chip Caray.

Again, suggestions to the e-mail box, please.  Heck, even to the Facebook page. 

And if you have a more creative name than Mount Hushmore, please come forth with it and we'll give you full credit.  You know, unlike Kap for jackin' the World Wide Leader.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Bears Buzz: Damned In The Dome



Dave Kaplan used 97 words to describe Jay Cutler's on-field performance in Sunday night's 21-14 loss against the Atlanta Falcons.  He used 110 words to describe Cutler's post-game performance.

Yep.  It's going to be one of those kinds of Mondays in Chicago.



There might be nothing that annoys me more than annoyed members of the press.  How many times have we as fans heard media members complain about how a player or coach responds poorly to a loss?  In my eyes that's a good thing. 

As a fan, don't you want your players to be as ticked as you are after a defeat?  I do.  It shows a sense of accountability -- that what they do on the field is more than just something that pays the bills and garners groupie love.  Growing up in Santa Claus, Ind., Cutler was raised a Bears fan.  After learning that Josh McDaniels wanted to bring in his secret lover former quarterback in New England, Cutler bitched and moaned until he became a Bear.

Just like John Elway bitched and moaned his way out of Baltimore.  Just like Eli Manning whined his way out of San Diego and into New York.  (Seriously, Eli, WTF where you thinking?  San Diego had sunny weather, pretty girls and a healthy LT.  All for the sake of marketability. Really?  I digress.)  From now on, I don't want to hear anyone from the Chicago media complain about a player's post-game presser unless they say something offensive, fraudulent, explicit or so-damn-funny it needs to be on YouTube immediately.

If it doesn't fall under those categories, I don't want to hear Chicago's finest bitch and moan about someone bitching and moaning.

Want something to bitch about?  How about the running game?  Better yet, how about the lack of a running game?



Where have you gone Matt Forte?  One fumble all of last season, then to have two in one red zone drive hurts.  The first fumble was a slap to the face.  A wake up call that Forte is not an impenetrable force.  A reminder his hands were not made of Stick-Em.  The second fumble.  Well, that was like a kick in the nuts.

This is where it would be great if the Bears had a better than average back-up running back.  If anything, the NFL is a copy cat league, so I'm trying to figure out why the Bears haven't put used the copy and paste method on this ideology.  Each of the NFC's first place teams have a dynamic duo of backfield.

Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor in Minnesota.  Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw in New York.  Reggie Bush, Mike Bell and Pierre Thomas in New Orleans.  Frank Gore and Glen Coffee in San Francisco.

The Bears have Forte and ... "The Other" Adrian Peterson?  Garrett Wolfe?  Those names haven't excited anyone outside of Georgia Southern or Northern Illinois University upon graduating and moving on to the NFL.  Chicago could have selected Coffee in the third round, but instead went with the guy whose claim to fame is jumping out of a swimming pool. 

The career expectancy of a running back is short.  Forte's shelf life is probably going to take a hit because all the hits he takes.  Maybe a fresh tailback gets into the end zone on that leap to cross the goal line.

Maybe a better offensive line gets a push.

Just a thought.



The Bears defense played well.  Not well enough.  That touchdown pass from Matt Ryan to Tony Gonzalez was too easy.  How hard is it to cover a team's most dangerous red zone target?  Hard enough where there wasn't a single Bears defender in the 770 or 404 area codes on the play.  And where was the red zone "D" on Michael Turner's touchdown scamper.

Northern Illinois University can still bite a fat one as far as I'm concerned.  (Still bitter about being put on that waiting list even though I really always wanted to go to SIU.  I'll tell that story one day.)

Anyone know whether or not Gaines Adams is going to make the transition to linebacker because that is where the Bears truly need help.

In the end, this TBDS Tweet said it all.



I think you get the picture.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Ricketts, Tickets, Straight Cash & The Cubs


The gig is up on the North Side.  For the 23 years of my existence, Cubs fans have been saddled with bad-to-mediocre baseball with a sprinkle of good.  And for a good chunk of those years, part of the reason the Cubs have sucked like no other team in sports history is because of ownership's reluctance to put into the team what the fans put into them.

Remember when Andy MacPhail and Bud Selig tried telling baseball fans that the MLB and almost all of its franchises were getting by, if only by the skin of their teeth.  Then, days later, a report came out that most baseball teams were profiting with he Cubs being among the top three?  I do.  It confirmed to me something that true Cubs fans (not that guy who goes out there and blatantly tries to make him the most hardcorediehardfanboyevar) knew all along.  There's always been money in the safe, but no one knows the access code.

Yahoo! Sports found the access code and broke it down here.  I will break it down further after the jump.



David Kaplan suggests new owner Tom Ricketts might be penny-pinching in his first year of ownership.  I suggest that Kaplan give me the access he has when it comes to covering Chicago sports teams.  I guess we're all full of suggestions, huh?

Ricketts closing his wallet after spending $845 million on the baseball team he's loved since childhood would be like me buying a Cadillac Escalade and not ponying up for an iPod adapter to bump some tunes out of my new whip.

So, why should Ricketts make it rain during his ownership regime?  Well, for starters, the Cubs are in more green than a Brazilian rain forest.

GATE RECEIPTS: $140 MILLION ESTIMATED ANNUAL REVENUE

People flock to Wrigley by the tens of thousands on a daily basis.  When the Cubs aren't there, they go by the hundreds.  The ballpark on Clark & Addison is more than a place where grown men pay a child's game and make millions of dollars to do so.  Admittedly, it's a tourist attraction.  But it's cool.  Disneyland is a tourist attraction too, and that place makes bank.  So do the Cubs.


In 2005, more than 3 million people made the trek to Wrigley Field, marking the first time the Cubs had eclipsed the 3 million mark.  They won 79 games that year.  In 2006, they lost 96 games and drew more people.  I think it's time, and I feel as if Mr. Ricketts would agree with me on this one, that it is time to reward the fans that help fill your bank account.

BROADCAST RIGHTS: $70 MILLION ESTIMATED ANNUAL VALUE

I've seen a lot of baseball over the years.  Most of it through friends who have the MLB package or at sports books in Las Vegas.  I've heard/seen a lot of broadcast teams, and on the TV side, Len Kasper and Bob Brenly are among the best.  If you disagree, that means you are a White Sox fan who would rather hear Hawk say absolutely nothing during a loss and read Steve Stone's Twitter page bashing Milton Bradley while turning a blind eye to the steaming pile of shit left by Alex Rios and his .156 batting average since joining the White Sox.

Pat Hughes is great on the radio side.  Ron Santo, eh, not so much.  He's like Hawk ... but has never traded Bobby Bonilla nor has he ever fired Tony La Russa.

And yet, despite Ronnie's shortcomings, the Cubs will still bank $70 million a year because of broadcast rights.  That's a ridiculous amount of money, so much so, maybe it could buy good ol' Ronnie some original analysis.

CONCESSIONS: $15 MILLION ESTIMATED ANNUAL VALUE

The no-brainer of no-brainers.  Beer is expensive.  So is food.  But it doesn't matter that I can go to the Full Shilling down the street, eat for free and pay the same $6 for a beer that is two times bigger than the one I will buy at the ball park.  I'll still buy food and drinks at the game anyway.  So will approximately 40,000 of my closest friends.  Something has got to distract us while Aaron Miles is at the plate or Kevin Gregg is on the mound.


You know how when you drink beer at the bar, sometimes the girls look prettier.  It's too bad it can't have that same affect (effect?) when Miles, Gregg or any of these other mopes take the field.

COMCAST SPORTS NET CHICAGO: $15 MILLION ESTIMATED ANNUAL VALUE

Allow me to quote the Yahoo! story for this passage.  "The Cubs make an estimated $15 million a year from Comcast – a quarter of the regional network’s profits – and the ownership stake is worth far more. Three people involved in the pending sale valued the 25 percent stake at no less than $180 million. The big payoff could begin a decade from now."

Um, is that a lot of money or is that a lot of money?

In addition to those eye-popping numbers, the Cubs will also get a healthy $100 million tax break and $45 million through other revenue streams.  Sure, the Cubs have to kick back $35 million thanks to the collective bargaining agreement, but it's a price the Cubs could afford.  Put it this way, it comes out to approximately as much asthe 2010 salaries of  Alfonso Soriano and Carlos Zambrano.

So when Dave Kaplan says the Cubs should save some money by letting Rich Harden walk, I laugh.  And when he says the Cubs won't get in a bidding war for a player's services, I laugh harder.  And when Kaplan suggests the Cubs should wait and try to find a bargain such as Kyle Lohse, my face turns red with anger and I start cursing at my computer screen.

Kap, if you think you can win a World Series with a rotation full of pitchers who will make $32.625 million over the next year and hold a career record of 83-88, then you and Stoney should go buy a team and make it happen.

I'll take my chances with my 5 inning starter with a 10.9 strikeout-per-nine ratio.

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