Erin Andrews Stalking Suspect Caught

Surprise, surprise.  Guess you owe someone (see: me) an apology.

I was glad to wake up this morning and find out that the real perpetrator of the inexcusable, unforgiveable and super-duper creepy Erin Andrews peephole video deal has been caught.  His name? 

Michael David Barrett of Westmont, Ill.

Maybe now it makes sense that he's been laying low since the Cubs dealt him to the Padres in 2007.  It would explain why Carlos Zambrano beat the crap out of him in the dugout -- and then in the clubhouse.  I guess this is what you resort to when those checks from Jim Hendry quit coming to your mailbox.

Oh wait, we're not talking about that Michael Barrett?  My bad.

Time to move on with our lives.  (P.S.  I'm liking the EA with glasses look.  Cute librarian-ish.  I'm a fan)

Bigger Breaking Video News: Pacman Jones Or Erin Andrews? And Other Things On My Mind

The Internet is back up in my neck of the woods. Three cheers for Verizon Wireless!

Not!

And now that I have access to the free exchange of thoughts online, here are some from my end.

I knew the following things coming into this weekend:

1. Erin Andrews is a good looking woman.
2. The Nationals are bad.
3. Alfonso Soriano doesn't suck as much as you think he does.

Yet, they all made headlines this weekend. Big headlines. Let's tackle these in order, shall we?

Erin Andrews Video vs. Adam 'Pacman' Jones Video

If you're a college age male who happens to like sports and watch ESPN, then Erin Andrews is probably your cup of tea. Erin Andrews has been the apple of my eye since the first day I laid eyes on her. What's not to like? Pretty. Blonde. Sports knowledge. Many men have spent countless hours in labs trying to cook up girls like her and while no one has come close to creating perfection, The Sideline Princess comes close.

So when a grainy video of a naked Erin Andrews (as best detailed by Don Chavez) came out of seemingly nowhere, it snagged headlines from the real newsworthy video of the day.

There, I said it. The Pacman Jones strip club video is more important than the three-minute EA video that no longer exists on the mainstream Internet. Because at the end of the day, it was just confirmed that The Sideline Princess looks good in the buff despite creepy, grainy video. I could have guessed that without the video evidence.

And Jones' video has so much news value. The Las Vegas Review Journal has been doing excellent work with the Pacman/Strip Club stuff all week. If someone could just get some justice from that whole situation, it's a big win not only for the LVRJ, but for journalism in general.

Somewhere the Erin Andrews Legal Crew searches for someone to sue their pants off ... assuming they are not already around that person's respective ankles.

Washington Baseball, That's Nats-y

In leiu of the Cubs' sweep of the Montreal Expos Washington Nationals, I'm going to withhold several punchlines from an upcoming blog. Instead, I'll talk Stephen "The Savior" Strasburg.

Words cannot describe how bad the Washington Nationals are. At 26-65, they're wasting an All-Star season from Ryan Zimmerman and your run-of-the-mill Adam Dunn season that will end with him hitting 40 homers, driving 100 ribbies, getting on base at a .400 clip and a zillion strikeouts. Nyjer Morgan is a poor man's Juan Pierre, while Christian Guzman and Nick Johnson are servicable at their positions.

But the fact of the matter is that one pitcher cannot save this so-called "franchise" from being among one of the all-time worst in baseball history. Not Cy Young. Not Bob Gibson. Not Roy Halladay. Heck, Nolan Ryan could come out of retirement right now and be the ace of the staff at the ripe-old age of 62.

I'd advise Strasburg to not sign with the Nationals and go the J.D. Drew route to avoid that train wreck and hope Bud Selig comes to his senses and retracts the Nationals.

If he's lucky Bud Selig will make the Nationals disappear.

Soriano Swinging The Hot Stick Batting Sixth

I guess I'll take any criticism for defending Lou Piniella for keeping Alfonso Soriano in the lead-off spot. But I guess former Bears defensive coordinator Greg Blache's rant about numbers lying like your brother-in-law is somewhat true.

Since dropping to the sixth spot, Soriano is batting over .300 with an on-base percentage hovering around the .360 spot. He two homers over the weekend, but beyond that, Soriano just looks better at the plate.

His plate discipline has actually gotten better. Part of it is because pitchers aren't necessarily afraid of walking him in front of the likes of Mike Fontenot and Koyie Hill. If I was Sweet Uncle Lou, I'd not only ride this out, but I would try to maximize this.

This is where I suggest Piniella throw's down the hit-and-run sign once in a while. And, to a greater extent, the straight steal sign. If healthy, Soriano has speed to burn and could help spark an offense, that prior to the cure-all that is Nationals pitching, that struggled mightily throughout the first half of the season.

TBDS Late Night: The One About The Now Infamous Erin Andrews & The ESPYs

Who cares who wore it best? How about: who wore it least? (Image Credit: With Leather)

I have never watched a minute of the ESPYs. Ever. I've never felt the need to go and watch the shameless self-promotion that is ESPN get off on "awarding" those who they give 24/7 coverage of. Maybe I don't care because my favorite teams and players likely did not get an honor, nor should they.

You don't play the game to win ESPYs. If you do, then get the eff off my team. You're wasting my time and wasting ownership's money. You play to win the game. And if you win enough games you win championships and with championships come money, fame, riches and (apparently) crazy bitches. (See: McNair, Gatti & The Summer of Celebrity Death)

ESPN displayed some of its biggest winners during its morning SportsCenter, but I was too hungover busy in the morning to care. However, I do care about the dress of Ms. Erin Andrews. Mostly because it looked like a tiger ripped through it before Ms. Andrews said, "Silly kitty, that's enough" as it walked away sulking with its tail between its legs. Kind of like most 20something college kids after their 30 second encounter with The Sideline Princess.

If it lasts that long.

With Leather asked who wore the dress the best. I ask, who's taking it off first at the end of the night. Maybe I'm wrong, but if I'm wrong, then I just want to be in love with a pretty girl. That's all. And nothing should be wrong with that.

Quality Linkage:

• Deadspin revives one of my favorite segments about the dark side of journalism. [Deadspin]
• Phillip Rivers got bested by a high school kid. Does it matter, did the high school kid throw for 4,500 yards and a billion touchdowns? No. He couldn't even replicate it in Madden if he tried. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• A shot in the dark with TBL's second half predictions. [The Big Lead]
• NON SPORTS: 12 things that will happen before Dr. Dre releases Detox. [The Rap Up]
  

Jon, Kate Plus 8 Things You Should Read Today

What better way to get hits than with a Megan Fox pic to go along with a Jon & Kate Plus 8 headline?

So much drama in the LBC ... er ... TV land ... yeah, that's more like it. Bothered by the Jon, Kate drama thanks in part to the overload of Facebook and Twitter, I've decided to turn back the hands of time here at TBDS and bring back the Daily Dosage.

If only for one lunch break.

1. The man responsible for 'Boom goes the dynamite' has hit the open market. [Awful Announcing]
2. Finally, a good book is made into a movie and Hollywood scraps it. (Flips double-bird toward the West Coast and shouts expletives.) [E!online]
3. A fight breaks out at Marlins-Yankees game, answering the question whether or not people actually go to Marlins games. [The Sports Hernia]
4. Nick Saban does not approve of your recruiting whispers. [The Wiz Of Odds]
5. Who wants a Natinals shirt? [Zazzle via Vegas Watch]
6. So, what is Albert Pujols' market value? [Crain's]
7. Joe Morgan would be a terrible eye witness. [SportsbyBrooks]
8. Joanna Krupa does to T.O. what Tony Romo shoulda done a long time ago. [With Leather]

Oh, and something about Erin Andrews, too. She became part of the topic of conversation today in the press box in Marion, Ill., only one year and six months after gracing Saluki Nation with her presence. Erin, please come back.

Now that that's over with, it's time to sit back, relax and watch the hits come in.

No. 10 Erin Andrews

She's cute, blond and probably has the ability to get me an extra media pass. That's why Erin Andrews ranks No. 10 on my list of Top 10 celebrities.

This might come as a shock to some, especially those of you who remember the days when I fell in love with girls that had golden locks on a daily basis.

Or those of you who knew that I cherished this picture to the right and the fact that she signed my GameDay poster saying she would love to be my Valentine.

Did I mention she works for ESPN and has some knowledge of sports? Whether it is piped into her ear piece or not ... I don't care? Maybe she could get me Kyle Whelliston's college basketball blogging job.

Just saying.

By making EA my No. 10, I just bought my blog at least 100 hits as her junkies, stalkers and "fans" will stumble upon this site.

My hope is that they come for the pretty girls and stay for the sports talk.

Daily Dosage: Weekends Are Made For Fun

I hate Florida State athletics almost as much as any program in college sports.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Jenn Sterger. She's hot. And even though she's not hotter than Erin Andrews, I'd give her the time of day. You'll get the reference if you click on the appropriate link below.

Enjoy your weekend!

It's Friday, so let's keep it brief. Shall we?

Reds Play Longball To Avoid The Sweep. The Reds out-homered the Cubs 7-1 as they avoided the three-game sweep with a 12-7 victory over the North Siders. David Ross (twice), Ken Griffey Jr., Brandon Phillips, Adam Dunn, and Joey Votto.

Ted Lilly not only failed to get out of the third inning, he also failed to follow teammates Ryan Dempster and Carlos Zambrano in the 10-win club.

So Do The Royals. No, the Royals didn't run roughshot at Kauffman Stadium but outfielder Mark Teahen hit an inside-the-park home run as the Royals beat the White Sox 4-1 to avoid the series sweep.

For the first time in the series, the Royals were able to hold the lead. Finally, holding that Kansas City fans won't boo. (Yeah that was a football reference...you like?)

Hey, Now You're An All-Star. Brewers outfielder Corey Hart and Rays third baseman Evan Longoria were voted into the final slot to represent their respective leagues in the All-Star Game.

Personally, I thought Hart had no chance, seeing that he was going up against the darling of the national media, Mets third baseman David Wright. I'm also surprised that Jermaine Dye of the White Sox didn't get in. And the only people to blame for this injustice are White Sox fans.

All week I heard the South Side bitch and moan that they weren't fairly represented in the game and the Cubs didn't deserve seven stars.

Even though both are true statements, if Sox fans put as much effort into stuffing the ballot box like Cubs fans and Red Sox fans did to vote in the starters or Brewers fans and Rays fans did for the last man vote we wouldn't be having this conversation.

I'm Not Seeing This Through Rose Tinted Glasses. Derrick Rose is out for the rest of the summer league season because of knee tendinitis. I don't see where this is good for the Baby Bulls, who might as well be back at square one without D-Rose.


Quality Linkage

• President Bush needs some USA Basketball tickets. (Guardian) You would think the leader of the free world would have a hook up...but you also would think gas wouldn't be $4.45 down the street from me, but there it is.
• A.J. Burnett survives a root canal and then picks up the win. (Globe and Mail) Sounds like he was born to be a Cub, seeing that Jim Hendry already signed a former Blue Jay pitcher while he was on an EKG machine.
• Jenn Sterger apologizes to Erin Andrews. Kinda. (On The DL) I'd still like to see EA and Sterger settle their differences wearing bikinis in a pool of Jell-O. What? I know it can't be just me.
• The Sarge is a little too happy about Alyssa Milano being in the booth. (The 700 Level) I'm sure he wants to show her "Who's The Boss?" (See how I did that, because she used to be on the show "Who's The Boss?" in the 1980s)