NFL Wild Card Drinking Game Part I

There are times in sports where boozing is necessary.  Especially if you are a Detroit Lions fan.

And if you have nothing better to do than watch football on a Saturday with your friends and a few frosty adult beverages, then you are living the good life.  The following is an instruction manual on how to watch football, booze up and leave some room in the tank for Sunday's action.

Jets @ Bengals

If any of the following occurs, take one drink

• Any reference made to Brett Favre's one year with the Jets.
  
• Any reference to the Bengals' image change
  
• Either team runs a play and you think to yourself "Is Ron Turner calling these plays?" (two shots for a run up the middle, finish if the play loses yardage; finish if you find yourself saying "I wish the Bears could run that play)
• Any Chris Henry reference (finish drink for a Chris Henry montage)
• Any time you hear "overcoming adversity"

If any of the following occurs, take two drinks

• Whenever Mark Sanchez throws into double or triple coverage
• Cedric Benson fumbles the ball
• Any mention of Thomas Jones' workout regimen
• Any time your friend makes a Rex Ryan fat joke
• Any mention of the Braylon Edwards midseason trade

If any of the following occurs, finish your drink

• Announcers reference Cedric Benson's time with the Bears
• Announcers reference Thomas Jones' time with the Bears
• Announcers note Benson & Jones were teammates on Bears Super Bowl team
• Any time you find yourself wanting to call the Jets QB "Dirty" Sanchez
• Announcers accidentally call Chad Ochocinco, "Chad Johnson"

If any of the following occurs, call a designated driver not named "Stallworth"

• Any mention of Cedric Benson's party boat
• Cedric Benson shows up at your party with the blonde hotties from the party boat 
  

Eagles @ Cowboys

If any of the following occurs, take one drink

• Any reference to Wade Phillips being winless in playoff games
• Any reference to Andy Reid being undefeated on Wildcard Weekend
• Either team runs a play and you think to yourself "Is Ron Turner calling these plays?" (two shots for a run up the middle, finish if the play loses yardage; finish if you find yourself saying "I wish the Bears could run that play)
• Any reference to Terrell Owens time with the Cowboys and/or Eagles (two shots for video montage)
• Any time you hear "overcoming adversity"

 If any of the following occurs, take two drinks

• Any mention of how hard it is to beat a team three times
• Any time your friend changes Tony Romo's name to "Tony Homo"
• Any reference to Mike Vick's legal troubles (finish your drink if there is a mention to the Cowboys' past legal troubles)
• Any time you think to yourself "Wade Phillips looks like a pissed off fat kid."
• Screen shot of Jerry Jones

If any of the following occurs, finish your drink

• Screen shot of Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders
• Any reference to the Dallas Cowboys' glory years
• Any time you think to yourself, "Geez, when is Andy Reid going to call a running play?"
• Any time Roy Williams drops a catchable ball
• DeSean Jackson scores a touchdown from 40-yards out or more  
  

 If any of the following occurs, call a designated driver not named "Stallworth":

• Any time anyone makes reference to Nate Newton and his trunk full of blow
• Nate Newton shows up at your place with said blow

For the record, we're taking the Bengals and Eagles in tonight's match-ups.  Even though in our heart, we really want to take the Jets because of our ties to fellow SIU alum Bart Scott.

We'll be cheering for you, El Barto!

Why Your Team Won't Beat The Bears In The Super Bowl: New York Jets

At least Jets fans know this quarterback won't be retiring after the season.

On Nov. 23, 2008, the New York Jets defeated the then-unbeaten Tennessee Titans 34-13 and were set to put the rest of their season into cruise control. Their quarterback was firing on all cylinders, their defense was at the top of its game and Eric Mangini was starting to look like the genius everyone made it out to be.

Then, the next five weeks happened. The Jets went 1-4 after toppling the Titans, with its only victory coming in a 31-27 squeaker against the Buffalo Bills. The passing offense fell apart. As did the defense. In Week 17, Brett Favre's arm basically came undone as it symbolized how quickly the Jets' season fell apart.

But hope springs eternal in the greater New York region as the Jets welcome a new coach, a new defense, a new quarterback and his very attractive lady friend.

However, it just won't be enough to be better than the Chicago Bears, this year's Super Bowl champion.

1. The Ryan Family Coaching Tree. I like Rex Ryan, a lot. From a media member's standpoint, he gives good quotes. From a fan's standpoint, he plays hard-hitting, aggressive defense. From a Southern Illinois University Carbondale alumnus' point of view, he makes me happy because his defense helped former Saluki Bart Scott become a very wealthy man. (P.S. Saluki Way needs your support, Mr. Scott).

Yet, after his father's mediocre run as a head coach, it makes me wonder whether or not young Rex can cut it in the NFL. 55-55-1 won't cut it anywhere, let alone New York City. For every Mike Smith, there's a Butch Davis.

2. Got "Stick 'Em" for your receivers? The Jets have had some pretty good receivers if recent memory serves me correct, for Laveranues Coles, Santana Moss and Jerricho Cotchery have each been pretty good pass catchers in their time. But only Cotchery remains and if you don't count Thomas Jones coming out of the backfield, I'm hard-pressed to be impressed with Chansi Stuckey, David Clowney, Wallace Wright and Huey Whittaker.

Unless one of the role players steps up in a big way (Dustin Keller?), Joe Namath could be slinging the pigskin and it wouldn't matter.

3. Favre is gone, there's no pressure to succeed. As Brett Favre goes, so goes the media circus. Now, who's going to follow the team with the drama queen now out of the picture. Chris Mortensen will no longer be at door steps. John Clayton will no longer be hiding inside trash dumpsters. Sean Salisbury will no longer be showing his junk to cheerleaders.

On second thought, maybe the circus leaving town is a blessing in disguise after all...

4. D'Brickashaw Ferguson. Dude's got the coolest name in all of football, but Jets fans should heed this warning. The last time the media slurped a team because of one player's cool name, Chief Kickingstallionsims and the Alabama State Hornets were one-and-done in the NCAA Tournament.

Just sayin'.

5. They play in the AFC East. Unless you've been living under a rock, or one of Rick Majerus' chins, the division the Jets play is stacked at the top like Jessica Simpson in a push-up bra. At 10-6, the Patriots didn't even make the playoffs last year. And the Bills will be better until T.O. turns on the team during the playoff stretch.

But if you happen to get stuck with a New York Jet on your fantasy team it better be running back Thomas Jones. Who? Mike Thomas Jones! Mr. Jones has rushed for at least 1,100 yards for each of the past four seasons. Last year, he picked up 13 rushing touchdowns, a career high.

Tomorrow's runner-up to the 2010 Super Bowl Champion Bears: Cincinnati Bengals

Brett Goes Broadway

Is it too late to change that Madden cover?

If you're looking for the exquisite analysis of deal that sent Brett Favre to the other New York football team, you're out of luck. Instead, I want a different approach to the matter. So I'll give it to you by presenting three places Favre's impact will be felt the most.


1. Jets fans, show yourselves!

Acquiring Favre makes the Jets relevant again in the greater New York metropolitan area. The superstar QB supposedly at the twilight of his career gives credibility to a team holding an open competition between Kellen Clemens (he's not Roger so he's not newsworthy) and Chad Pennington (more arm troubles than a Chicago Cubs pitcher.)

And for all you kids watching at home, if your team has two options at quarterback it really has none.

Now, with Favre sharing the island with Eli, instead of the NFL season opening up by revisiting Big Blue's Big Upset over the Pats, the football world will (again) revolve around Favre's retirement, unretirement and subsequent trade to the in-city rival. Fans of the G-Men can't be happy with the Green Machine stealing their headlines.

2. Rivalries Renewed

Are you ready for an on the field storyline? I know I am.

And even though I am sick of the New York/Boston sports headlines, how can you not ignore this one? Favre, now in a New York state of mind, really gives Bill Belichick something to spy on. The Man-genius now has a little more firepower to go up against his former mentor, hence spicing up the Patriot Games.

3. Fantasy Land

Not only will Favre's impact be felt on the field, it will be felt online in fantasy football. I think it's safe to say you can draft Favre higher than the 16th round he's been projected by some. I think drafting a New York Jet wideout (Laveraneus Coles? Jerricho Cotchery?) or tailback Thomas Jones could bring you some fantasy points somewhere down the line.

Should you expect Favre to throw for more than 4,100 yards and 28 TDs? Yes! Remember, he gets to play the Dolphins twice in '08.

For Brett Favre's new theme song, click here.