The Cutler Did It: Bears beat Steelers 17-14 behind Cutler, Gould

Judging by your texts, tweets and Facebook status updates, there is not anyone in Chicago regretting the Jay Cutler trade.  Well, not this week, at least.


After a forgettable Week 1 effort which saw Cutler throw four INTs in a 21-15 loss to the Green Bay Packers, Bears fans saw the pros behind having a gunslinger under center.  Cutler threw for 236 yards and two touchdowns -- but most importantly -- zero interceptions in the Bears' 17-14 win against the defending Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers..  One of the best debates on any sports blog is the definition of clutch, and no matter your definition, it would be difficult to make me think Cutler's TD passes were anything but.

The first tied the game at 7-7 before halftime, capping a 97-yard drive, which would have been unthinkable had Rex Grossman or Kyle Orton been slinging the pigskin around the gridiron.  The second, a 7-yard strike to Johnny Knox, tied the game again in the fourth quarter to end a 72-yard drive with an exclamation point.

To Bears fans, this is experience is kin to a first kiss with a real girlfriend after years of drunken debauchery and slumming with hoodrats.  Sunday's performance has brought the Chicago Bears offense into the 20th century.  As long as Ron Turner is calling shots as the offensive coordinator, I'm not going to be ready to upgrade the team to 21st century status ... but having Cutler in the pocket makes me feel a lot better than Kyle Orton ever did.

It would be easy for Steelers fans to point at Troy Polumalu's absence due to injury for the three-point loss.  But the Bears were without their best defender, too.  So wipe that excuse off the board.  Then there was Jeff Reed's inability to make field goals in the final stanza.  Those two boots weren't gimmes by any stretch of the imagination, so to say the Bears were lucky would only be doing a disservice to a Bears defense that stiffened up when it needed to.  Take your Haterade and put it in a cooler and save it for next week's game at Seattle.

Then there was Robbie Gould.  There aren't enough superlatives to say about Mr. Gould, who seemingly always finds himself winning or tying games with what I assume to be a goulden platinum right foot.  Other than Adam Vinatieri, who taught Gould everything he knows about kicking, I'm not sure there is any other kicker I would want in the NFL if my team was in a tight spot.  I say this of course knowing full well that Gould has yet to make a 50-yard field goal in his career.  Part of that blame can be laid on the Bears offense, which has struggled at times to get the ball past the 50-yard line in the first place.

In the end, a victory against the defending Super Bowl champs to open the home schedule is exactly the kind of start the Bears needed after losing a very winnable game in Green Bay.  There are still problems lurking in the secondary, but those can be addressed at a later time, date and blog post.

Until then, drunken debauchery with hoodrats can ensue as the Bears beat the Stealers 17-14.

Pigskin Pimpin' On A Saturday

I'm sure Peyton Manning's fantasy updates include Reggie Wayne.  Poor Dallas Clark probably feels a little out of the mix.  After the jump, stuff about football.

 

Florida is about to pound the living snot out of Tennessee, so much so that Vols fans will be already looking forward to college basketball season.  On second thought, maybe not.  For all his flaws, at least Lane Kiffin has brought the Tennessee football program out of the druthers that Bud Kilmer Phil Fulmer had put it in.  Never have I seen a game that was so certain to be a blowout reach such levels of hype.

Any guesses when Florida coach Urban Meyer will call off the dogs?  My prediction is somewhere around the year 2012.  Unless, of course, he's at Notre Dame.

The other big game of the weekend is Texas Tech visiting Texas in Austin.  The Longhorns will have revenge on their mind as they will likely try to run it up on the Running Rebels, who helped knock them out of national title contention last year.

It shouldn't be a difficult task if you take into consideration that Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree no longer reside on campus.  Sure, Mike Leach is an offensive wizard, but every coach will tell you that you don't win games without talent, no matter how good of a coach you are.

Texas talent > Texas Tech talent.

Well, then there's Texas "talent" ... amiright?

Texas takes center stage again on Sunday night when the Cowboys host the Giants in the regular season debut of the 'Boys' new stadium.  This game looks a lot different than it would on Madden 2009, that's for sure.

Gone from the Giants is the receiver that Plax'd himself.  Gone from the Cowboys is the receiver fans wish would Plax himself.  Instead, starring in this game are a pair of alumns from Directional State Universities from the great state of Illinois.

Dallas will lean on the right arm of former Eastern Illinois great Tony Romo.  New York will likely hand the rock to former Southern Illinois Saluki great Brandon Jacobs.

Having met Jacobs personally, he's a nice guy.  So I'll go with the Giants to spoil the party -- then party with the cheerleaders afterward.

Oh yeah, then there's the Bears' home opener.  Quarterback Jay Cutler desperately needs to do two things.  A) Erase last week's game from his memory -- at least the parts where he threw four INTs.  B) Figure out how to beat the 3-4 defense.  He struggled last year against the Chargers, who use that system.  He struggled mightily against the Packers, who just started using that system and have made Dom Capers look like a genius again.  Now he goes against a team that has perfected the defense and has the NFL's reigning Defensive Player of the Year.

If only Dick LeBeau could turn his defensive prowess into a head coaching job.  Oh right, he did.

Here's hoping Cutler avoids a scene like this tomorrow.

Pennsylvania Is The State of Champions

Random post-Super Bowl thoughts as not to take away from Tuesday's Super Bowl column.

• I'm pretty sure the Pittsburgh Steelers channel the Lovie Smith Cover-2 on Larry Fitzgerald's 64-yard touchdown catch in the fourth quarter.
• If Ben Roethlishotdogpolishitaliansausageberger would not have connected with Steely McDong, Larry Fitzgerald's sports writin' daddy or Kurt Warner's suddenly kind of hot wife get MVP consideration from me.
• Kissing Suzy Kolber wins Post-SB Blog Headline of the year: "MVPeepee." I'm still laughing.
• Speaking of Fitty's daddy, how many times do you think he changed the lead (or lede) in his story?
  
• I'm still waiting for the refs to go to the booth for an official review.
• But seriously, are the refs throwing flags or Terrible Towels?
• Is it me or did this year's commercials suck? There were a few good ones, but there always are. But the rest were mediocre. If feel as if some companies just wasted $3 million for 30 seconds of crap.
  
• How long until a wealthy NFLer charters Swag U or THE School of Hard Knocks as a place of higher education?
  
• But seriously, what's the point of having instant replay if you're not going to use it?
• Think John McCain (R-Ariz.) is rounding up his buddies and starting a Congressional investigation on the use of instant replay in sports.
• Even Ed Hoculli thinks he couldn't have f*cked that up.
  

My Guide To The Super Bowl

I have spent a lot of time and energy trying to convince myself that the Arizona Cardinals have a chance to win their first Super Bowl against the high and mighty Pittsburgh Steelers.

Then, Sunday night in Evansville, Ind., as I ate a meat-filled calzone with people like me with similar interests, I came to the conclusion when you have to go out of your way to convince yourself said underdog has a chance to slay the giant meanie ... then usually the underdog gets put under.

And even though I am cheering for the underdog and went on the record in choosing the Cardinals, I'm not going to be surprised when the Steelers win 46-17.

There's plenty of reasons to be cheering for the Cards this weekend.

I'll start with their offense. Kurt Warner went from the UNI Dome to bag boy to baller to Eli's back up and then back to baller. No truth to the rumor, however, that he was Matt Leinart's mentor when it comes to the beer bong.

Tim Hightower had a few good fantasy weeks for me and the fact that he's from FCS (fmr. Div I-AA) power Richmond, he gives the smaller schools a good rep. If he starts today, he'll be the second straight former I-AAer to start at the running back position in the big game joining SIU's Brandon Jacobs, who started for the New York Giants last season.

And unlike the Chicago Bears' offense, the Cardinals feature three receivers that can catch the ball as Anquan Boldin, Steve Breaston and Larry Fitzgerald have more talent in one hand than the entire Bears receiver unit.

In addition to having good numbers, they have the storyline of being a suckfest that the Cubs fan inside me can relate to.

As for the Steelers, they're good.

They've been good for a long time and have five Super Bowl rings to prove it.

Their defense was ranked No. 1 across the board leading the entire NFL in rush defense, pass defense, points per game, angry linebackers, Terrible Towel waving, injuries inflicted on the opposition and SportsCenter Top Plays.

But don't sleep on the Steelers' offense.

It's efficient, to say the least, and will be just fine as long as Ben Roethlishotdogpolishitaliansausageberger can stay away from motorcycles.

Willie Parker is fast. Hines Ward can do it all as a receiver, and truth is he's a better quarterback than anyone on the Bears, Vikings or Lions' roster right now. And Santonio Holmes has naked pictures of himself floating around the internet. Oh yeah, so does their kicker.

Now that's an offensive "unit" you can't mess with.

So there you have it sports fans.

There's a game on today that each team has its own reason on why it may or may not win.

Good luck and stay classy Pittsbazona!

This post is gonna be Super!

To the victors go the spoils, everyone knows that. But to the losers go the really big headlines so to not forget how much of a failure you are.

So while Super Bowl week will revolve around the Pittsburgh Steelers and Arizona Cardinals, let's remember the teams that didn't make it with a moment of silence.

...

Thank you.

...

Now, let's talk some Super Bowl.

No one expected the Cardinals to be here, not even the biggest, baddest most die-hardest fan of the former Chicago franchise. But let's be honest, how many people expected the Steelers to be here, too.

Look at the preseason prognosticators and you'll see a lot of New England, Indianapolis, San Diego and Jacksonville projections for the big game. And all of those teams had good cases in the preseason, while the Colts and Bolts had a chance to make their mark because they actually made the playoffs.

The only team with a complaint should be the Pats.

They won 11 games and beat the Super Birds by a convincing 527 to negative-12 score in snowy Foxboro, Mass. If this was the B.C.S. (which it thankfully is not) every blogger in America would be pitching a bitch-fit over this injustice that would get blown so out of proportion, it would rival the inhumane treatment of sweatshop workers according to guys hanging out in their parents' basement.

I digress.

Arizona is who we thought they were: A team that won its games if (AND ONLY IF) they outscored its opponents. Granted, you can't win if you don't score and you can't win if you score fewer points than the team you're playing ... but the birds were at their best when they soared in shootouts.

As for the Steelers, they're better than we thought they were: A gritty defensive club with just enough offense to get by. A healthy Willie Parker, a steady Hines Ward and the emerging presence of Santonio Holmes (who moves faster than those Steely McDong photos across the internet) make Pittsburgh's pummeling team dangerous.

And before you say the Cardinals have no chance to upset the Steelers, I will go on the record and say that they do.

They made it here, didn't they?