STFU Award Winner: Ron Turner & Why Charlie Weis Should Come To The Bears

It has been a mighty long time since I have given out the coveted STFU Award.  Look for this to become a feature that you will see more of in 2010.

Time to dust off the award and club Ron Turner over the head with it.

In a story published in the Chicago Tribune, Turner states, "I did the best job I could with what I had."

As some finger-snapping youngster would say, "Oh hell to the naw."

Turner's offense took advantage of Bernard Berrian's speed to score as often as Eddy Curry takes advantage of being 6-foot-11 to grab a rebound.  It turned Jay Cutler into Rex Grossman.  Cedric Benson has rushed for 1,998 yards in 25 games with the Bengals after accumulating 1,593 yards in 35 games with the Bears.  Earl Bennett and Devin Aromashodu were saddled to the bench like they were grounded for life.  It's not as if they would have delivered a Super Bowl or two, but it is an improvement over Rashied Davis.

It's time for Ronnie to look in the mirror in face facts.  His offense, other than one mythical season in which Erik Kramer, Rashaan Salaam and Jeff Graham put up a top-10 season, has been absolutely horrendous.  Other than that one year, his teams failed on the campus of the University of Illinois and in Chicago ... twice.

Yet, Turner's time in Chicago is an indictment of a bigger problem with the Bears.  That problem is the inability to bring in an offensive coordinator that doesn't suck.  Recent history has not been kind to the Bears, who have shipped in Terry Shea, John Shoop and Gary Crowton before putting them out to pasture.

It's not just time for change in Chicago, but it is almost as if the Bears need a head coach for the offensive unit.  Someone that will tell Lovie Smith to shove it when he asks to run a draw play on 3rd-and-19 from the team's own 5-yard-line.

That person is Charlie Weis.

I will be happy with nothing less.

Yep, the fat guy.  Let's just compare the quarterbacks he helped develop.

Tom Brady, who once upon a time was a sixth-round pick and a back-up to Drew Bledsoe turned out alright.  Brady Quinn was a damn good college signal caller only after Weis came to South Bend and cleaned up Tyrone Willingham's mess.  Jimmy Claussen finally lived up to the hype during his junior year at Notre Dame and is a safe bet to be the first quarterback taken in the upcoming draft.

And then, let's see what Turner has done with his QBs.

*Crickets*

That's what I thought.  Unless of course you'd like me to bring up names like Kurt Kittner, Steve Stenstrom, and Dave Kreig.  Maybe it was Turner who taught Sean Salisbury how to properly use a cell phone.

In any case, Weis is the sure-fire top candidate for the job.  How soon can we ship a truck full of Giordano's pizzas, Al's Italian Beefs and Harold's Chicken Wings as a sign that we're interested in Weis' services?

Lovie should avoid Mike Martz like he owes Martz child support.  Chan Gailey got hosed in Kansas City during the preseason.  Do you really want him?  Oh, then there's Jim Fassel.  Really? I was about to make a stay away from him joke with a herpes reference, but I got lazy.

Al Saunders, OK.  I can deal with that.  Jeremy Bates, meh.  It's not like the Southern Cal offense worked wonders this year.

In any case, the Bears need to find someone willing to take over an offense with holes on the offensive line, a lack of playmakers and a quarterback who looks like Brett Favre when he's playing at a high level and Henry Burris when he's not playing all that well.

TBDS votes Charlie Weis for Ron Turner's replacement.  This time next year, we'll probably be asking for Weis to remove Lovie.