Pigskin Pimpin' On A Sunday

Ohhhh snap it's another edition of your favorite snarky and sarcastic football segment.  Catch it if you can ... after the jump.

Get your Kurt Cobain vigils ready, Da Bears are traveling to Seattle.

Dave Krieg's Strike Beard has attempted to rally the troops in an effort to make the Bears' time in Seattle a traumatic experience.  It's Seattle.  Consider that feat already accomplished.

T.J. Houshmybabydaddy came off as a bitter, jilted ex-lover earlier in the week as he threatened that Jerry Angelo would rue the day he refused to sign.  While talented, it seems as if the Bears GM has taken a cue from his Chicago baseball counterparts by not paying top money for a second-rate talent.  Upon hearing TJH's comments, the Bears secondary turned the other cheek -- and if they play well enough on Sunday, The Housh might be planting a pair of lips on said cheek.


As for the gameday festivities, Da Bears are coming off a feat the Seahawks and their fandom would be jealous of --  and that's beat the defending Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers.  They did so by  stumping the run without Brian Urlacher and providing that classic bend-don't-break pass defense in the guts of the game against Ben Roethlishotdogpolishberger, but they did the job at its most crucial moments.  Thankfully, the Bears won't have to deal with Big Ben or Matt Hasselbeck.  Seneca Wallace provides his own set of issues, primarily, what the heck kind of name is Seneca?

Contrary to my original opinion, today might not be a Jay Cutler kind of day.  Did you see what Frank Gore did to the Seahawks last week? Next week at this time, we'll be able to replace Gore's name with Matt Forte.

If the Bears lose, it might be due to colorblindness as the Seahawks will apparently debut a set of uniforms that even the Oregon Ducks football team thinks is a bit of an eyesore.

BISON BUSTERS

Revenge is a dish best served with a side of Bison.  It was my first thought after the SIU football team was able to hold off North Dakota State 24-14 on Saturday at McAndrew Stadium.

It was a game in which the Saluki defense did a bulk of the heavy lifting.  Kyle Walker came away with three quarterback sacks, fellow linebacker Brandin Jordan collected 10 tackles and safety Marty Rodgers picked off a fourth quarter pass that would eventually spell the beginning of the end for a Bison offense that came into the game averaging 40 points per game.

Quarterback Chris Dieker rallied from a slow start to throw a pair of touchdown passes, including a 61-yard strike to Jeff Evans.  Dieker's struggles can be a cause of concern for a Saluki squad that has their eyes set squarely on a national championship.  But it seems as if Dieker is always doing just enough to put up Ws week-in and week-out.

SIU will travel to Western Illinois for its next Missouri Valley Football Conference showdown.  The Salukis will be going up against a familiar foe that will have a few new wrinkles.  Southern should eb expecting the unexpected as the Leathernecks will likely try to rally around their coach Don Patterson, who recently resigned as he is fighting health concerns.

TIM TEBOW GOT KNOCKED THE F*** OUT




Tebow's been released from the hospital.  You can resume your lives.  And now, meet your heir apparent to the Tebow Dynasty ... John Brantley?

These fans don't seem to thrilled.

FANTASY UPDATE

After two weeks, everyone in my fantasy league owns a 1-1 record.  For the second straight week, Trent Edwards -- a late round draftee for yours truly -- gets the start over one of my top picks Jay Cutler.  I'm not feeling the Cutler-Seattle match-up and feel that Matt Forte is going to have a monster game against the Seahawks.

Unfortunately, TBDS' own Johnny Sole has Forte going for him.

Other fantasy bench warmers include TJH, Darren McFadden, Pierre Thomas, Benjamin Watson and Percy Harvin.

Yahoo!'s exit polls project me to narrowly fall to the Soleman.  Do I have a shot with what I've got to pull of a minor upset?

Playmakers, picks, and picks to click

The SIU football team defeated Hampton 37-31 on Saturday night. The Saluki offense, which had its problems moving the ball during preseason scrimmages, had many efficient moments.

PLAYMAKERS:

I'd be remiss if I didn't start this segment with Larry Warner: Rally Killer, who accounted for 353 all-purpose yards, and was the sparkplug he was made out to be.

Warner ran wild against the Hampton Pirates, gaining 151 yards on the ground and racked up 163 return yards. But it's not just that he made the plays, it's when he made them.

When Hampton trimmed SIU's lead to 20-10 with 2:23 remaining in the first half, Warner took the ensuing kick-off 95 yards up the right side to give SIU the 27-10 lead, which they would hold going into half time.

Then, when the Pirates got within 27-24 with 7:12 remaining, Warner struck again.

After Lucien Walker picked up a key fourth down conversion, Warner took the next hand-off from quarterback Chris Dieker and took it for a 20-yard touchdown run to give the Salukis a 34-24 lead.

PLAYMAKERS II - College Pick 'Em Edition:

Safety Mike McElroy must love playing Hampton.

In last year's tilt against the Pirates, McElroy made a career-high seven tackles in the Salukis' 45-21 victory.

In last night's game, McElroy picked off three passes and came close to a fourth, which went right through his hands.

McElroy said there was no coincidence, giving credit to the coaching staff who scouted the Pirates well and his teammates.

Even though SIU allowed 31 points, winning the turnover battle makes it a bit easier to swallow.

PICKS TO CLICK RECAP:

Damian Sherman, last night's offensive pick-to-click, caught only three balls for 30 yards, but two of the grabs capped scoring drives. His first TD, a 21-yard reception from Dieker, was a post corner route in which Sherman took advantage of the man-to-man coverage.

Funny thing about that...as soon as SIU got to the 20 yard line, I looked over to my boss and said "this would be a good time to hit Sherman on a corner route." Moments later, Saluki Nation was celebrating the first touchdown of the season.

So yeah, you can say I got my Steve Stone on. Who knew I could do that in football, too?

My defensive pick to click, linebacker Chauncey Mixon, made five tackles, but was overshadowed by McElroy's defensive dominance.

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I'll be the first to admit I was worried about SIU's offense coming into Saturday night's game against Hampton.

They struggled during at times during the preseason scrimmages to the point where the only analogy I could come up with is that they were the awkward white guy dancing in the club. They looked awkward and out of sync.

I guess Chris Dieker, Larry Warner and the rest of the Salukis put on their dancing shoes prior to the game.