Bears Buzz: Cutler's Clutch Performance, Forte's Fantasy Value & Seattle's Sickening Unis

Bears Buzz is the new segment which provides insight, analysis and below-the-belt shots at Chicago's opponents throughout the year.  Come on a journey, won't you...

After being spotted with a 13-0 lead, the Seattle Seahawks were reminiscent of the staggering drunk girl at last call.  Their jerseys made them unwatchable, but you couldn't help but to keep your eyes on them as you awaited their next ill-fated step toward failure.  LOL at Seneca Wallance for thinking he was back at Iowa State during the first half.  LOL louder at T.J. Houshmandzadeh who talked like Chad Ochocinco on Wednesday and played like he was worth ochenta y cinco centavos on Sunday.  (That's 85 cents for those of you who are not Spanish speaking members of the TBDS community.)  Houshletdadogsout showed why Jerry Angelo he did not want to sign a No. 2 receiver to a contract worthy of a No. 1 guy.  That's what he wanted to do all along, right?

Where are the Jay Cutler jersey burners now?  Oh, right.  Still in Denver.  Gotcha.  I didn't want to give you an "I told you so" speech, but whenever someone starts a sentence like that you know you're going to get one anyway.  It doesn't take a Harvard Law degree to figure out that Cutler was going to be more like the guy who helped win the Bears' Week 2 match-up against the Steelers than the guy who played like he and Rex Grossman played life swap.

My only mistake might have been trusting numbers too much not to start Cutler on my fantasy team.  The Seahawks defense looked like a statistical inpenetrable wall against the pass.  A closer look would have revealed that the QBs they faced were St. Louis' Marc Bulger and San Francisco's Shawn Hill.  It's not like they went up against Peyton Manning or Tom Brady.  If anything, Cutler's Week 3 performance might serve as a boost to quarterbacks of the NFC West.  I'm sure Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin are licking their chops awaiting their shot at Seattle's shoddy secondary.


And to think Cutler has yet to be spectacular in Chicago.  This week he threw for 247 yards, which ranked 13th among starting quarterbacks and has yet to throw for 300 yards.  But what he has lacked in eye-popping numbers, Cutler made up in accuracy, perserverence and a will to win.  Something that hasn't been found in a Chicago quarterback since Sid Luckman Jim McMahon. After struggling in Week 1 with a Rex Grossman-like 43.2 QB Rating, Cutler has posted back-to-back 100+ QB ratings, including a 126.4 mark which ranked him behind Peyton Manning and Aaron Rodgers this week.

Oh, and if you're looking ahead in the schedule, Cutler and the Bears' next five opponents rank in the bottom half of the league's defensive standings in regard to passing yards per game allowed and total passing yards.  Arizona, Detroit and Cleveland rank 19th, 28th and 31st in points per game allowed.

There's no way Cutler finds his way on my fantasy team's bench during that stretch.

Matt Forte picked up 106 yards of total offense Sunday as he produced his first double-digit fantasy week of the season.

It's still not good enough.  Especially for a guy who was a consensus top-5 fantasy pick.

The Bears are no longer the team that comes running off the bus.  With Cutler under center, the Bears have an added dimension to an offense that has been quite offensive to the eyes in recent years.  Having Cutler on the team is a gift and a curse of sorts to Forte.

No longer does the second-year back out of Tulane have to carry the bulk of the offense as he is no longer the focal point of the team's offense.  However, team's are still treating him that way -- and that is one of the reasons Cutler can spread the ball around to Devin Hester, Johnny Knox, Greg Olson and others.

But could Forte be fighting through a sophomore slump?

Sure.  It's possible.  But the reason could be that teams are so focused on stopping him, they passing offense is getting away by sneaking past a bunch of drawn-in defenders.  Forte should bounce back against the Detroit Lions next week, a team that won its first game since December 2007 and allowed Forte to rush for 126 yards and a touchdown in the last match-up between the two bitter NFC North rivals.

In the end, the Bears and their fans don't care about putting up numbers as the team is more concerned with putting up letters.  Preferably, 'W's.

Chicago Football Has Moved Into The 21st Century. Thank You Jay Cutler.

Kyle Orton, your Broncos are 3-0 and I'm really happy for you (not) and I'm gonna let you finish. But Jay Cutler had one of the best game-winning drives of all time!

OK.  Maybe not.  And while it would be totally wrong to anoint the Chicago Bears as Super Bowl champions now, there are some facts that just need to be said aloud right here and right now.

There is no doubt in my mind that Rex Grossman would have thrown an interception during that fateful fourth quarter drive.  Kyle Orton would have made several underthrown attempts to make pass completions only before fumbling away a game-winning opportunity like he had taken several shots of Jack Daniels while the Bears were on defense.

Make no mistake about it, Jay Cutler won this game.  And to think, one brave NFL prognosticator said Cutler would throw three TD passes against Seattle in Week 3.  Um, yeah.  I'll be taking your praise in the form of cash, credit, check or full frontal-nudity.

If Orton or Grossman is under center, there is no way the Bears score their first touchdown because they would have sent Robbie Gould onto the field for the safe three points.  Real NFL quarterbacks make those passes.  Not average QBs like Orton.  Not flashes-in-the-pan like Grossman.

Legit NFL signal callers make those kinds of plays.

And that is why I'm happy to be a Bears fan after the team's 25-17 win against the Seattle Seahawks.

Pigskin Pimpin' On A Sunday

Ohhhh snap it's another edition of your favorite snarky and sarcastic football segment.  Catch it if you can ... after the jump.

Get your Kurt Cobain vigils ready, Da Bears are traveling to Seattle.

Dave Krieg's Strike Beard has attempted to rally the troops in an effort to make the Bears' time in Seattle a traumatic experience.  It's Seattle.  Consider that feat already accomplished.

T.J. Houshmybabydaddy came off as a bitter, jilted ex-lover earlier in the week as he threatened that Jerry Angelo would rue the day he refused to sign.  While talented, it seems as if the Bears GM has taken a cue from his Chicago baseball counterparts by not paying top money for a second-rate talent.  Upon hearing TJH's comments, the Bears secondary turned the other cheek -- and if they play well enough on Sunday, The Housh might be planting a pair of lips on said cheek.


As for the gameday festivities, Da Bears are coming off a feat the Seahawks and their fandom would be jealous of --  and that's beat the defending Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers.  They did so by  stumping the run without Brian Urlacher and providing that classic bend-don't-break pass defense in the guts of the game against Ben Roethlishotdogpolishberger, but they did the job at its most crucial moments.  Thankfully, the Bears won't have to deal with Big Ben or Matt Hasselbeck.  Seneca Wallace provides his own set of issues, primarily, what the heck kind of name is Seneca?

Contrary to my original opinion, today might not be a Jay Cutler kind of day.  Did you see what Frank Gore did to the Seahawks last week? Next week at this time, we'll be able to replace Gore's name with Matt Forte.

If the Bears lose, it might be due to colorblindness as the Seahawks will apparently debut a set of uniforms that even the Oregon Ducks football team thinks is a bit of an eyesore.

BISON BUSTERS

Revenge is a dish best served with a side of Bison.  It was my first thought after the SIU football team was able to hold off North Dakota State 24-14 on Saturday at McAndrew Stadium.

It was a game in which the Saluki defense did a bulk of the heavy lifting.  Kyle Walker came away with three quarterback sacks, fellow linebacker Brandin Jordan collected 10 tackles and safety Marty Rodgers picked off a fourth quarter pass that would eventually spell the beginning of the end for a Bison offense that came into the game averaging 40 points per game.

Quarterback Chris Dieker rallied from a slow start to throw a pair of touchdown passes, including a 61-yard strike to Jeff Evans.  Dieker's struggles can be a cause of concern for a Saluki squad that has their eyes set squarely on a national championship.  But it seems as if Dieker is always doing just enough to put up Ws week-in and week-out.

SIU will travel to Western Illinois for its next Missouri Valley Football Conference showdown.  The Salukis will be going up against a familiar foe that will have a few new wrinkles.  Southern should eb expecting the unexpected as the Leathernecks will likely try to rally around their coach Don Patterson, who recently resigned as he is fighting health concerns.

TIM TEBOW GOT KNOCKED THE F*** OUT




Tebow's been released from the hospital.  You can resume your lives.  And now, meet your heir apparent to the Tebow Dynasty ... John Brantley?

These fans don't seem to thrilled.

FANTASY UPDATE

After two weeks, everyone in my fantasy league owns a 1-1 record.  For the second straight week, Trent Edwards -- a late round draftee for yours truly -- gets the start over one of my top picks Jay Cutler.  I'm not feeling the Cutler-Seattle match-up and feel that Matt Forte is going to have a monster game against the Seahawks.

Unfortunately, TBDS' own Johnny Sole has Forte going for him.

Other fantasy bench warmers include TJH, Darren McFadden, Pierre Thomas, Benjamin Watson and Percy Harvin.

Yahoo!'s exit polls project me to narrowly fall to the Soleman.  Do I have a shot with what I've got to pull of a minor upset?

Why Your Team Won't Beat The Bears In The Super Bowl: Seattle Seahawks

In 2007, the Seahawks allowed Cedric Benson to score a rushing touchdown. He would then go on to score with girls on a boat.

Seattle doesn't have much going for it these days. Grunge is dead. Their baseball team (though 56-52) might as well be as it is as close to the first place Angels (9 games back) as it does to the last place A's (9 games up). And their basketball team is non-existent.

On top of that, they have to watch the Seattle Seahawks play football 16 times per season. And to make matters worse, I'm breaking some news in the Pacific Northwest.

Kurt Cobain is dead. And your Seattle Seahawks don't have a prayer against the eventual Super Bowl champion Chicago Bears.

1. Week 3: A West Coast banging Dr. Dre would be proud of. The Seahawks will get their shot at the Bears on Sept. 27 and should be riding the high after pounding the Rams in Week 1 and maybe sneaking a win past the up-and-coming 49ers. But then they have to face the Bears. Chicago should be coming off an Earth-moving victory against the defending champion Pittsburgh Steelers, but might find themselves looking forward to a Week 4 thrashing of the Detroit Lions. And what better than beating a bird as a pregame feast for dumping Detroit.

Prediction: Jay Cutler will throw for 457 yards and 3 touchdowns, and that is in between creating an enitrely new offense Ron Turner couldn't screw up.

2. T.J. Houshyourmamacuziaintyodaddy. Life is going to be different for "The Housh" in 2009. Matt Hasselbeck is no Carson Palmer, nor is he as cute as Elizabeth. Nate Burelson is no Chad Johnson Ochocinco.

And didn't you know? His Madden ranking is in the pooper, according to him. Stay away from this future fantasy flop.

3. Seattle's running game might give you the runs. Julius Jones. Justin Forsett. T.J. Duckett. This trio of running backs doesn't deserve a witty, well-written punchline.

4. Um, you got two guys named T.J. Won't that get confusing. Let the record show that no team in NFL history has won a Super Bowl with two guys named T.J. on the same roster.

Just saying.

5. Seattle: The cradle of depressed civilization. Let's think about it now, folks. Grunge is in the rearview mirror. So are the SuperSonics. So are the Mariners' best days -- like when Griffey, A-Rod and the Big Unit roamed the dome. The most exciting thing about the town might be its soccer team.

Oh, and maybe Starbucks.

But if you happen to get stuck with a Seattle Seahawk on your fantasy team it better be T.J. Houshmazilla. Yeah, I bashed him earlier, but look at the defenses he goes against this season. St. Louis (Weeks 1, 12), San Francisco (Weeks 2, 13), Jacksonville (Week 5), Arizona (Week 6), Detroit (Week 9), Minnesota (Week 12), Houston (Week 14), Green Bay (Week 16). All of these teams ranked below average against the pass. That's 13 of 16 opponents. Maybe "The Housh" made a half decent decision to play in Seattle after all -- of course -- you have to deal with the non-Pacman issued rain.

Tomorrow's runner-up to the 2010 Super Bowl Champion Bears: New York Jets