Stat Boy: Screw It, Let's Sign Matt Holliday

The Chicago Cubs need Matt Holliday.

With a lead like that, I could go many places with this article.  I could write about how the new ownership needs to make a splash, one considerably more intriguing than re-signing John Grabow.  Or I could pen a piece detailing how taking signing a good player away from the division rival St. Louis Cardinals would make Cubs fans forget about that whole Aaron Miles experience.

Instead, the Cubs need Holliday's numbers.  That's right, Stats Boy presents the case for the Cubs to break whatever is left in the bank to bring in the slugging outfielder.

Holliday hit 24 home runs and drove in 104 RBIs in 670 plate appearances in 2009, single-handedly out-performing Milton Bradley and Kosuke Fukudome, who combined to hit 23 homers and drive in 94 ribbies.  For what it's worth, Bradley and Fukudome combined to make $16.5 million to post a .258/.376/.409/.785 slash line in 2009.

Tell me again how Jim Hendry still finds himself employed by the Cubs?

I'm sure an outfield that goes Soriano-Fukudome-Holliday would make me watch the Cubs a half-inning at a time (especially when Carlos Silva is pitching) but it would be much better than a Soriano-Byrd-Fukudome, Soriano-Podsednik-Fukudome or Soriano-Ankiel-Fukudome outfield trio.

Throughout his career, Holliday has proven to be a quality hitter during day games, posting a .316/.390/.520/.910 slash line in 1,087 plate appearances in games played in the sunshine.  If there is one statistic future Cubs general managers should look at, it is how a player hits during day games.  I cannot stress that enough for a team that plays a bulk of its home games at 1:20 p.m.

And just to show you I'm not bluffing, check out the slash lines of the other three "candidates" during day games.

• Ankiel: .250/.311/.451/.763 (81 games started, 118 games total)
  
• Byrd: .255/.311/.403/.714 (188 games started, 223 games total)
  
• Podsednik: .285/.350/.396/.747 (266 games started, 309 games total)
  

Only Podsednik's numbers are respectable of the guys Hendry will surely overpay for this offseason.  Then again, when a player who has played center field in only 80 games over the past three seasons is your best option, consider yourself screwed.

Then again, when you have a $140 million payroll and have holes at second base, center field, at the back of the bullpen and in the starting rotation...

Seriously, what the hell are you thinking Jim Hendry?  M.C. Hammer could be more responsible with $140 million, and he'd probably have much better taste in Cardinals cast-offs than you.  Why can't you throw together another back-loaded five-year deal and make this team better.

I digress.

It's not like the Cubs are going to sell out 81 games, make millions off television advertising, merchandising and concessions, and have $25 million potentially coming off the books at the end of the season when Derrek Lee and Ted Lilly hit free agency.

Oh wait, you're telling me all of the above will happen?  Well, then that changes everything doesn't it?

While the idea of playing Holliday in right field for 150 games in 2010 scares me as much as seeing Kevin Gregg or LaTroy Hawkins come into the ninth inning with a one-run lead, I would be able to find solace when Holliday steps to the plate.

I can't say the same for Ankiel, Byrd or Podsednik.