STFU Award Winner: Ron Turner & Why Charlie Weis Should Come To The Bears

It has been a mighty long time since I have given out the coveted STFU Award.  Look for this to become a feature that you will see more of in 2010.

Time to dust off the award and club Ron Turner over the head with it.

In a story published in the Chicago Tribune, Turner states, "I did the best job I could with what I had."

As some finger-snapping youngster would say, "Oh hell to the naw."

Turner's offense took advantage of Bernard Berrian's speed to score as often as Eddy Curry takes advantage of being 6-foot-11 to grab a rebound.  It turned Jay Cutler into Rex Grossman.  Cedric Benson has rushed for 1,998 yards in 25 games with the Bengals after accumulating 1,593 yards in 35 games with the Bears.  Earl Bennett and Devin Aromashodu were saddled to the bench like they were grounded for life.  It's not as if they would have delivered a Super Bowl or two, but it is an improvement over Rashied Davis.

It's time for Ronnie to look in the mirror in face facts.  His offense, other than one mythical season in which Erik Kramer, Rashaan Salaam and Jeff Graham put up a top-10 season, has been absolutely horrendous.  Other than that one year, his teams failed on the campus of the University of Illinois and in Chicago ... twice.

Yet, Turner's time in Chicago is an indictment of a bigger problem with the Bears.  That problem is the inability to bring in an offensive coordinator that doesn't suck.  Recent history has not been kind to the Bears, who have shipped in Terry Shea, John Shoop and Gary Crowton before putting them out to pasture.

It's not just time for change in Chicago, but it is almost as if the Bears need a head coach for the offensive unit.  Someone that will tell Lovie Smith to shove it when he asks to run a draw play on 3rd-and-19 from the team's own 5-yard-line.

That person is Charlie Weis.

I will be happy with nothing less.

Yep, the fat guy.  Let's just compare the quarterbacks he helped develop.

Tom Brady, who once upon a time was a sixth-round pick and a back-up to Drew Bledsoe turned out alright.  Brady Quinn was a damn good college signal caller only after Weis came to South Bend and cleaned up Tyrone Willingham's mess.  Jimmy Claussen finally lived up to the hype during his junior year at Notre Dame and is a safe bet to be the first quarterback taken in the upcoming draft.

And then, let's see what Turner has done with his QBs.

*Crickets*

That's what I thought.  Unless of course you'd like me to bring up names like Kurt Kittner, Steve Stenstrom, and Dave Kreig.  Maybe it was Turner who taught Sean Salisbury how to properly use a cell phone.

In any case, Weis is the sure-fire top candidate for the job.  How soon can we ship a truck full of Giordano's pizzas, Al's Italian Beefs and Harold's Chicken Wings as a sign that we're interested in Weis' services?

Lovie should avoid Mike Martz like he owes Martz child support.  Chan Gailey got hosed in Kansas City during the preseason.  Do you really want him?  Oh, then there's Jim Fassel.  Really? I was about to make a stay away from him joke with a herpes reference, but I got lazy.

Al Saunders, OK.  I can deal with that.  Jeremy Bates, meh.  It's not like the Southern Cal offense worked wonders this year.

In any case, the Bears need to find someone willing to take over an offense with holes on the offensive line, a lack of playmakers and a quarterback who looks like Brett Favre when he's playing at a high level and Henry Burris when he's not playing all that well.

TBDS votes Charlie Weis for Ron Turner's replacement.  This time next year, we'll probably be asking for Weis to remove Lovie.

STFU LaTroy Hawkins

Dear LaTroy: A message from TBDS.

In my 23 years of life, there are only a handful (if that) of Chicago Cubs players that I did not like. Some I did not like because of their attitudes. Others I disliked because of their performance on the field. But when it comes to LaTroy Hawkins, it was a little bit of everything.

When Hawkins was a Cub, his numbers weren't terrible -- on paper. 2.76 earned run average, 29 saves and a 1.099 WHIP in 98 career games looks good to the naked eye, but his attitude and his inability to close games down the stretch in 2004 are the reasons he will go down in Cubs lore as one of the all-time free agent busts.

That, and his crummy attitude.

He did nothing but blame others for his shortcomings. Teammates, fans, media members -- none of whom were safe from LaTroy's wrath. And while his mechanics are different since finding a new home in Houston, his attitude apparently hasn't.

Paul Sullivan from the Trib drops this nugget on us via the Internet:

Houston reliever LaTroy Hawkins may be looking at a hefty fine from Major League Baseball after claiming plate umpire Mike Everitt "wanted" the the Cubs to win Monday night's game.

Hawkins was ejected by Everitt in the eighth inning after disputing a called ball to Aramis Ramirez and continuing to complain after Everitt ordered him to "knock it off." ... Hawkins sounded off on the ejection to the Houston Chronicle.

"Maybe he was having a bad day," Hawkins said. "I thought he had determined who he wanted to win the game anyway."

Some things never change, do they, LaTroy? It was only in 2004 when he gave up a big blast to Albert Pujols at Wrigley Field in which Hawkins blamed the fans for his struggles. A head scratching moment that caused me to think:

1. I wasn't on the mound grooving a low-90s fastball to Phat Albert with the sacks packed.
2. I don't know one Cubs fan that would suggest throwing said low-90s fastball to Phat Albert.

Alas, the Hawk Squaks again, blaming someone else per usual. Dusty Baker will probably have his back, but none of his teammates should. Nor should the fans. They're probably next on the firing line.

STFU Paul Bako

It's been a long time since I handed out the coveted STFU Award, so you know Paul Bako done messed up by opening his mouth.

For some odd reason, Bako still wants to talk about the 2003 National League Championship Series.

From the (Arlington Heights) Daily Herald:

"We were so close we could taste it ... Things didn't work out."

No sh*t, Bako. You and your .229 regular season batting average and .311 on-base percentage didn't help much, either. Neither did you .607 OPS in that fateful NLCS.

"Personally, I don't think we blew that. I think the Marlins showed that they were the better team and they rolled through the next round (beating the Yankees in the World Series). They beat us fair and square."

I guess Paul didn't realize that the Fighting Fish overcame a 3-1 deficit to take the LCS.

Not only that, they had to beat the National League's two best pitchers at the time (Mark Prior and Kerry Wood) on the road to do so. Maybe Bako doesn't remember the Marlins pulling off back-to-back come-from-behind wins in Game 6 and again in Game 7.

Maybe all of that does not constitute "blowing it" to him, but it does to me ... and probably every other Cubs fan with a pulse who saw that series.

Speaking of things that blow, maybe I'm the only person bothered by the fact that Bako received $725,000 for a non-guaranteed roster spot as it is quite possible the suckfest that is Koyie Hill could beat him out.

I guess Jim Hendry does not know the nation is in some sort of recession. Maybe President Obama included the Cubs in the stimulus package.

STFU, Ned Yost

[Ed. Note: How'd you like that Cardinals post? Yeah, I know some of you who read this want to throw me to the wolves, but hey, let's be fair to the new guy. We all make mistakes, his is being a Cardinals fan, it's not a sin.

TBDS will be operating slow for a few days until I get my laptop back.

Read on, please, if you'd like to learn why Ned Yost is the initial recipient of the TBDS STFU award.]

I wonder if Ned Yost ever thinks before he speaks.

On second thought, I don't. I already know he doesn't.

Instead of focusing his attention on his team's ever growing lead in the NL Wild Card or even catching the first-place Chicago Cubs, Yost is up in arms over one stinkin' hit.

"He accomplished a no-hitter and wasn't given what he deserved. That should have been a no-hitter.... That's a stinking no-hitter we all got cheated from. I feel horrible for CC."

On top of that, the Brewers are going to make an appeal to the head honchos of MLB to reverse the call. I can't believe it. Nothing says "no-hitter" like getting a call from Bud Selig saying "Hey, CC, you've got yourself a no-hitter. Congratulations."

That moment would likely rank behind Sabathia's Cy Young Award and maybe the day he discovered all-you-can-eat buffets.

As for CC Sabathia, who was masterful over the Pittsburgh Pirates:

“The ball was still rolling, and I probably should have picked it up with my glove,” he said, adding, “I think if I pick it up with my glove, I get him.”

You see that? Sabathia doesn't care! He's got his mind on three things right now: winning, eating and getting a boatload of George Steinbrenner's money in the off-season.

While the rest of Milwaukee is huffing and puffing about the no-hitter that wasn't, CC 's going to continue to mow down the competition until his arm falls off or the season ends, whichever comes first.

You know why? Because he's got his priorities in order.

For crying out loud, Ben Sheets' groin knocked him out of the game against the New York Mets and I bet you Yost spent the majority of his press conference STILL bitching about the Pittsburgh scorekeeper.

And I know there will be a Brew Crew Baller somewhere saying "but he was so dominant against the Pirates..."

You know who else was dominant against the Pirates last week?

Jason Marquis.

Case closed.